More and more citizens relying on private vehicles as their major means of transportation. Describe some of the problem overreliances on cars can cause, and suggest at least one possible solution.

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Nowadays, using private vehicles is a popular topic of discussion.
This
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trend has affected many individuals and societies around the world. In
this
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essay,I will discuss the main problems caused by
this
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issue and suggest an effective solution to
this
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problem
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.
To begin
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with, there are several problems with using private vehicles. One major
problem
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is increased
air
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pollution
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.
In other words
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, private
cars
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cause
air
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pollution
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by increasing carbon emissions and harmful gases.
As a result
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,
this
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has a negative impact on the environment and
people
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's health.
In addition
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,
people
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will become lazier
Punctuation problem
. This
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this
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is because
people
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rely on
cars
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too much, which will cause more health problems.
For example
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, recent studies have shown that an increased number of
people
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have
weight gain
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gained weight
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. The main reason is that many
people
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replace walking with driving. To solve
this
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problem
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, the government should improve public
transportation
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.
Firstly
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, the government should increase the number of trains and buses, and make them available throughout the day.
Secondly
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, ticket
price
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prices
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should be reduced,
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this
Correct pronoun usage
which
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will encourage
people
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to use public
transportation
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instead
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of private
cars
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.
Moreover
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, charging drivers to use
cars
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in city centres will reduce the number of
cars
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on the roads.
As a result
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, traffic congestion and
air
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pollution
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will be reduced. In conclusion,
people
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relying on private vehicles as the main means of
transportation
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couses
problem
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in
air
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pollution
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and has a negative impact on
people
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's health,
such
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as weight gain.
However
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, the government should improve public
transportation
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and charge drivers to use
cars
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in city centres.

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task response
Write the problem sentence in a more full way. Say what the problem is and why it matters.
task response
Add one more clear example for traffic or city life. This will make your answer stronger.
task response
Your solution is good, but explain more how each step will help people use cars less.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. Some long sentences need a full stop or 'and' to make the flow clear.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph start with one main idea, then add support after it.
coherence and cohesion
Check small word links like 'this is because' and commas, because they affect easy reading.
task response
You answer both parts of the task: problems and solutions.
task response
Your ideas are clear and easy to follow most of the time.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, body, and end.
coherence and cohesion
You use basic linking words like 'To begin with', 'In addition', and 'In conclusion'.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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