Some people say that when deciding taxes, the government should prioritize health care. Others think that there are more important priorities for tax-payers' money. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
There is an ongoing debate regarding how
governments
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should spend taxpayers’
money
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. Some
people
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believe that
healthcare
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should be the main priority when
governments
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decide how to use tax revenue.
However
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, others argue that there are other areas that deserve greater attention. Both views will be discussed below before presenting my own opinion.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand,
healthcare
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is one of the most important areas that
governments
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should invest in. A good
healthcare
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system can provide
people
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with affordable medical treatment and help prevent serious diseases.
This
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is especially important for poor
people
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who may not be able to pay for expensive
healthcare
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services.
In addition
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, investing in hospitals, doctors and medical technology can improve the
overall
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quality of life and increase
people
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’s life expectancy.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, there are several other important priorities for taxpayers’
money
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. Education,
for example
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, is essential for a country’s long-term development because it helps create a skilled workforce.
Governments
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also
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need to spend
money
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on infrastructure
such
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as roads, public transport and schools. These investments can create jobs, support economic growth and improve
people
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’s daily lives.
Therefore
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, focusing too much on
healthcare
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could mean that other important areas do not receive enough funding.
Body paragraph 3
In my opinion,
healthcare
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should be one of the government’s top priorities, but it should not receive all the available
money
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. I believe
governments
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should divide taxpayers’
money
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reasonably among
healthcare
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, education, infrastructure and other essential services.
This
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would help create a healthier, better-educated and more developed society.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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some
people
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think that tax revenue should be spent on other important sectors, I believe that health care deserves the highest priority because it directly improves
people
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's well-being and supports national development.

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task response
Your view is clear, but it changes a little. In one part, health care is one of the top needs. In the end, it has the highest place. Say the same view all through. Add one real or clear example for each side.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main parts, your view, and an end. To make it better, link ideas more clearly with words such as "For this reason", "As a result", and "For example". Make each main point a little more full.
task response
You talk about both sides and give your own view. Your points about poor people, schools, roads, and jobs are on topic.
coherence cohesion
The order is easy to follow. Each part has one main idea, and the end brings your answer together.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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