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Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show the age of visitors from the UK to Spain in 1983 and 2003.

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A glance at the charts provided reveals data about changes in the chunk of visitors from the UK to Spain over a period of 20 years, from 1983 to 2003.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the charts make it obvious that there were significant changes in visitors.
In particular
Linking Words
, individuals who were 35-54 years old witnessed an upward trend,
while
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 people aged 16-24 and 0-15 represented the smallest shares. In 1983, Individuals aged 35-54 had the highest percentage at 50%, which was more than almost double the proportion of the 25-34
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 (20%).
Whereas
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, the 55+
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 represented 16% visits, which was 6% more
thanthe
Correct your spelling
than the
 0-15
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
, and the 16-24
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 showed the smallest share at the 4%. Turning to 2003, the percentage of visitors aged 35-54 plummeted to 35%;
however
Linking Words
, it remained the largest category.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the proportion of travellers aged 16-24 and 55+ increased significantly by about 10%, accounting for 15% and 26%.
While
Linking Words
,
Correct determiner usage
the
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 rate of people aged 0-15 and 25-34 changed opposite, representing the smallest shares at 12%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, group with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "represented" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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