Many parents today put pressure on their children to achieve great marks at school. Give the reasons why parents do this and do you think that this is a positive or negative development

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In the Contemporary era,

Parents

Use synonyms

have excessive

pressure

Use synonyms

on their children to be the most successful individuals at school. I partially agree with

that

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

tendency that has placed an intensive expectation on the child.

This

Linking Words

essay will give the reasons why

parents

Use synonyms

this

Linking Words

along with

Linking Words

the positive and negative ideas that support my point of view. On the one hand, there are common reasons responsible for

such

Linking Words

intense

pressure

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. One primary reason for social comparison

Verb problem

show examples

This

Linking Words

plays a vital role in society, where

parents

Use synonyms

feel judged based on their children’s achievements , which requires motivating them for high marks and performance.

Second,

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fathers and mothers often believe that developing discipline in their academic path is a key to securing a top-qualified job and earning a massive amount of money.

In addition

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, some fathers expecting his son and daughter will accomplish what they couldn’t do and now see their children as a chance to achieve those long-held aspirations.

Accordingly

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, the privileges of that

pressure

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are that sometimes the children become more resilient and determined.

However

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on the other hand

Linking Words

, excessive

pressure

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can harm the brain and erode trust.

For example

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, a recent scientific study found that mental health issues and persistent anxiety are linked to parental expectations.

Moreover

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, when success is defined by grades, creativity will be reduced and affect the quality of the work , which is equally important for a fulfilling life. In conclusion, it is clear to see that constant

pressure

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can be productive or lead to a harmful situation.

Therefore

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, I believe that

parents

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should focus on the enjoyment of learning and supporting their academic development.

alfred

Jun 27, 2026

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task response

Answer both parts more fully. Give clear reasons why parents do this, and clearly say if it is more positive or more negative.

task response

Your main idea is clear, but some points are too short. Add one more sentence to explain each main point.

task response

Use one clear example and explain how it supports your idea.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a good start and end, but some ideas do not link smoothly. Use simple link words like 'first', 'also', 'for example', and 'as a result'.

coherence and cohesion

Make topic sentences clearer at the start of each body paragraph.

coherence and cohesion

Keep one main idea in one paragraph. This will make your essay easier to follow.

task response

You answered the topic and gave reasons for parents' pressure.

task response

You included both good and bad sides, which shows balanced thinking.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

Some link words are used well, like 'On the one hand' and 'In conclusion'.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

271 words

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Many parents today put pressure on their children to achieve great marks at school. Give the reasons why parents do this and do you think that this is a positive or negative development

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Many people believe that using a bicycle as your main form of transport has a lot of advantages whereas others think that it has many disadvantages. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The best way for the government to reduce traffic congestion is to provide free public transport 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. Do you agree or disagree?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?