IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people say that children should be involved in making schools' rules. Some argue that adults should be in charge of making rules. Discuss both view and give your own opinion

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School rules are made to
insure
Use the right word
ensure
show examples
 that the education process runs smoothly.
While
Linking Words
 some individuals argue that
puplis
Correct your spelling
pupils
 should be engaged in school regulations , others believe that formation should be
relay
Wrong verb form
relayed
show examples
 on adults solely . I firmly agree with the second view as children lack to coginative thinking so that they are not able to contribute
in
Change preposition
to
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such
Linking Words
 critical tasks. On the one hand,
children'
Check wording
children's
show examples
 opinions are paramount in
rule making
Correct your spelling
rule-making
 since they give insight
of
Change preposition
into
show examples
 how they
thinking
Wrong verb form
think
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 and
dealing
Wrong verb form
deal
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 with different
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
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.
This
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 action will
comprises an
Verb problem
comprise
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 additional angles,
also
Linking Words
fosters
Wrong verb form
fostering
show examples
 them to be more responsible.
Consequantly
Correct your spelling
Consequently
,
buliding
Correct your spelling
building
 them to be future
leader
Fix the agreement mistake
leaders
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 rather than
rules
Correct subject-verb agreement
rule
show examples
 followers .
However
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, younger
usually
Check wording
people usually
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 can not be biased
so
Punctuation problem
, so
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that
Correct word choice
apply
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it wouldn't be
Correct article usage
the
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best thing to
immediate involve
Wrong verb form
immediately be involved
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 in
such
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 decission.
For example
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, in
term
Check wording
terms
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 of dress code,
student
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students
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 tend to vote to dress freely.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, adults,
which they
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 have years of
experiences
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experience
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,
ideals
Verb problem
have ideals
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 to have the compelete control
on
Change preposition
over
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 making rules because they
more
Verb problem
are more
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 aware
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the consequences and solve problems effectively.
For instance
Linking Words
, in terms of dress code, which
normally
Verb problem
is normally
show examples
 found to eliminate both
distraction
Fix the agreement mistake
distractions that
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 may
occurs
Wrong verb form
occur
show examples
 from dressing up
focus
Check wording
apply
show examples
and social pressure. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 involving schoolers in making
rule
Check wording
rules
show examples
 will make them more
diciplines
Correct your spelling
disciplined
 and complies to guidlines , I
resure
Correct your spelling
ensure
 that
should be an adult's responsiblity
Correct word order
it should be an adult's responsibility
show examples
.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully before you give your own view.
task response
Make each main idea clear with one reason and one simple example.
task response
Use words in the question more exactly, like children, adults, school rules, and opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each paragraph and do not mix good and bad points in the same part.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words clearly: on the one hand, on the other hand, for example, in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Check that each sentence connects to the one before it in a clear way.
task response
You answered both views and gave your own opinion.
coherence and cohesion
You included an introduction and a conclusion.
task response
You used examples about dress code to support your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • responsibility
  • accountability
  • engagement
  • relevant
  • reflective
  • critical thinking
  • decision-making
  • experience
  • long-term implications
  • consistent
  • professionally considered
  • lenient
  • biased
  • discipline
  • order
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