IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Many parents put pressure on their children to get high grades in school. Many people think this is a great idea and others think it is not a good idea. Give reasons why parents do this and do you think this is a positive idea or a negative idea.

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Introduction
Today,many
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 graduated from
hight
Correct your spelling
high
 school.
Parents
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some times
Correct your spelling
sometimes
 put a huge
pressure
Use synonyms
 on their
children
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is
really
Correct article usage
a really
show examples
 negative idea .
This
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 essay will illustrate why
parents
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 do
this
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 .
Body paragraph 1
On the
on
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one
show examples
 hand ,
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Parents put
Wrong verb form
parents putting
show examples
pressure
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 on their
children
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 is really
harm thing
Replace the word
harmful
 because
this
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 will make student feel
stress
Replace the word
stressed
,so that student will get bad grades.
Moreover
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,
some times
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sometimes
 students will hate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life ,because
the
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 have more stress in
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thire
Correct your spelling
their
 life.
This
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 leads to many
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
. Forexample,
loesing
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losing their identity
thire
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 identty and
feel
Wrong verb form
feeling
show examples
 unwanted.
Also
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,
children
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 may be going to be isolated because
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
pressure
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 from
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thire
Correct your spelling
their
parents
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 .
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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 ,
Parents
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 can
protact
Correct word order
protect their children's
show examples
this
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children
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 grades by a lot of things.They can review the
leassons
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lessons
 with
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thire
Correct your spelling
their
children
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this
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 will lead to
enhanes
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enhanced
children
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's grades.
In addition
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,
parents
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 should keep
balence
Correct your spelling
balance
 between school and fun.
This
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balence
Correct your spelling
balance
 will make
children
Use synonyms
 more active and
spred happyness
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spread happiness
.
Also
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,students will have amazing friends
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
,
they
Correct word choice
so they
show examples
 can enjoy both sides.
However
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,
thise freedrom
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this freedom
 might
Body paragraph 3
effact
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Affect
 badly on
children
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 behaver.
Conclusion
In conclusion ,
parents
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 should be more
flixable
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flexible
 with their
chlidern
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children
.I
belive
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believe
 that
parents
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 must give
Use synonyms
thire
Correct your spelling
their
children
Use synonyms
 save study environment without
pressure
Use synonyms

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task response
Answer both parts more clearly: why parents do this, and why you think it is bad or good.
task response
Use one clear main idea in each body part, then explain it with a simple example.
task response
Your opinion is there, but say it in a direct way from the start and keep it the same all through the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Put ideas in a clearer order. Some lines do not link well, so the reader has to guess your meaning.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words well, like first, also, because, for example, however, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each sentence grows from the one before it. Now, some sentences stop too fast or change the idea too soon.
coherence and cohesion
You have an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
You give a clear view that too much pressure is a bad idea.
task response
You try to give reasons and results, like stress and bad grades.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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