Many people believe that courses like Art should be removed from the school. There is a belief that I.T. is more important and should be expanded. To what extent do you agree.

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Art

Use synonyms

class

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has always been an important

class

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, and it helps

students

Use synonyms

to express their talents.

However

Linking Words

, another idea is that

art

Use synonyms

class

Use synonyms

is not as important as technology , and it should not be taught. I partially agree with

this

Linking Words

statement.

This

Linking Words

essay will provide evidence to support my opinion. I completely disagree that

art

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classes

Use synonyms

should be removed.

First,

Linking Words

art

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classes

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have many important advantages.

For example

Linking Words

students

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are allowed to draw what they want.

Students

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sometimes have hidden talents, and maybe one of them is

art

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Also

Linking Words

art

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can express their feelings by drawing what they feel in a drawing. Possibly, a student can be the next Leonardo da Vinci , the famous artist who painted the Mona Lisa. It tells everyone that

art

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is important and that schools should focus on it.

However

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, I completely agree that the I.T.

class

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is important, and should

also

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be expanded. These

classes

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are important for the

students

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because computers are the future.

Also

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, about 80 to 90 per cent of jobs nowadays use computers in basic or advanced level. I think schools should take Computer

classes

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more seriously.

As well as

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, every three to five years, bring new computers and let the

students

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learn .

Also

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, I believe schools should have a plan from elementary to middle school so that every student knows how to have the basic skills.

Moreover

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, all high school

students

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should know how to do the advanced programs. In conclusion, I disagree that

Art

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should be removed from the school.

However

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, I do agree that I.T. is important and should be expanded.

alfred

Jun 29, 2026

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task response

Make your main answer more clear from the start. You say you partly agree, but later you say you completely disagree with one side and completely agree with the other side. This can sound a bit mixed.

task response

Add one more clear example for I.T. This will help show why it should be expanded in school.

task response

Explain your ideas a little more deeply. Some points are good, but a few are short and need more support.

coherence cohesion

Use linking words more carefully. Some links are good, but a few parts feel a bit broken or not smooth.

coherence cohesion

Try to build each body paragraph around one clear main idea, then add explanation and one example.

coherence cohesion

Check sentence connection. For example, some sentences start with Also too many times, and this makes the flow weaker.

task response

You answer both sides of the topic and give your own view.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear opening, two body parts, and a conclusion.

task response

You use examples like hidden talent, Leonardo da Vinci, and jobs using computers.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

268 words

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Many people believe that courses like Art should be removed from the school. There is a belief that I.T. is more important and should be expanded. To what extent do you agree.

in many countries, more and more young people are leaving school and unable to find jobs after graduation. What problems do you think youth unemployment will cause to the individual and society?give reasons and make some suggestions.

Improvement in health,education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However,the government of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree