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Band 7

The bar chart showed the percentage of school children learning to play four different musical instruments (violin, guitar, piano, drums) in 2005, 2010, 2015.

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The chart illustrates the proportions of students interested in playing
Violin
Use synonyms
,
Guitar
Use synonyms
,
Piano
Use synonyms
, and
Drums
Use synonyms
,
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apply
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 in the years 2005, 2010, and 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
percentages
Use synonyms
 of children learning how to play both
piano
Use synonyms
 and
guitar
Use synonyms
 rose substantially throughout the period.
Similarly
Linking Words
, there was a slight increase in the number of students willing to play
Drums
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 their interest in playing
Violin
Use synonyms
 have dropped by 2015. In 2005,
it is clear that
Linking Words
Piano
Use synonyms
,
Guitar
Use synonyms
, and
Violin
Use synonyms
 recorded the highest figures with almost identical
percentages
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, each having around 10%.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
Drums
Use synonyms
 were the least played instrument with about 5% only. Five years later, the
percentages
Use synonyms
 of children playing
Piano
Use synonyms
 and
Guitar
Use synonyms
 grew, with about 20% and 19% respectively.
However
Linking Words
, there was a little drop in the proportion of children learning
Violin
Use synonyms
 reaching 8%,
whereas
Linking Words
 the
percentages
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 for
Drums
Use synonyms
 remained unchanged at 5%. By 2015, the popularity of both
Piano
Use synonyms
 and
Guitar
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 more than doubled, with just under 40% learning
Piano
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 and 41% learning
Guitar
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the figure for
drums
Use synonyms
 rose gradually to 10%,
while
Linking Words
 the
Violin
Use synonyms
 experienced a more noticeable decline, dropping to only 5%, making it the least
preferrable
Correct your spelling
preferred
 instrument amongst the remaining.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words violin, guitar, piano, drums, percentages with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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