Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime , and the motivation for commiting it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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There is a growing debate about whether having afixed penalty or considering
criminal's
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the criminal's
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situationand
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situation and
motives
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of
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apply
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each time. In my opinion, I
thinkgovernments
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think governments
should base punishments on
fixedpenalties
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fixed penalties
while
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combining criminals'
individualfactors
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individual factors
. Fixed punishments bring several benefits.
Firstly
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,they can act as
deterrent
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a deterrent
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. When
people
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are aware ofsevere consequences of certain crimes, they
maythink
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may think
twice because they can not afford
theseconsequences
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these consequences
,
such
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as losing their freedom,
whichcan
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which can
significantly reduce
crime
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the crime
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rate.
Secondly
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,
fixedpunishments
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fixed punishments
can prompt fairness and
consistencyWhen
Punctuation problem
consistency. When
show examples
governments impose a set penalty, which canensure laws are suitable for everyone and avoid thebias caused by personal factors. On the one hand, considering criminals'
personalcircumstances
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personal circumstances
and
motives
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makes sentencing fairer.
Firstly
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, identical unlawful acts may come
fromdifferent
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from different
acts and
rigid
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a rigid
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approach to punishmentmaybe unjust.
For example
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,
people
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who
commitcrimes
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commit crimes
for self-protection should not be punished
inthe
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in the
same way as
people
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who commit
maliciouscrimes
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malicious crimes
. By considering factors,
such
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as
criminalsbackgrounds
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criminals' backgrounds
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, mental
and
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states, and
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motives
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,
government
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the government
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canmake a
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can
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impose
a
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apply
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more suitable punishments.
Inaddition
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In addition
, these methods provide
possibility
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a possibility
show examples
forrehabilitation
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for rehabilitation
, because judges can
combiningpersonal
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combine personal
backgrounds and other factors to adjustfinal sentence.
For instance
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, minor
first- timecriminals
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first-time criminals
can serve a probation sentence
instead
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ofprision
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of prison
sentences, which can avoid
them
Verb problem
exposing them
show examples
toexpose
Verb problem
to
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violent criminals and reduce the
likelihoodof
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likelihood of
repeat crime. In my opinion, I think governments should
basepunishments
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base punishments
on fixed penalties
while
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consideringpersonal
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considering personal
backgrounds and
motives
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, which can
alsoenable
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also enable
people
Use synonyms
to trust laws and benefit societystability

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. Write a little more about why some people want fixed punishment and why others want judges to look at each case.
task response
Make your opinion very clear from start to end. Your view is present, but it should be more direct and more fully explained.
coherence cohesion
Use clearer main ideas in each body paragraph. Start each paragraph with one simple topic sentence.
coherence cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, however, for example, and in conclusion. Some parts now feel broken or hard to follow.
task response
Support each main point with one clear example or short explanation. Some ideas are good, but they need more help.
task response
You discuss both views and you give your own opinion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You use examples like self-protection and first-time crime to support your ideas.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fixed punishments
  • consistency
  • predictability
  • deter crime
  • potential offenders
  • streamline
  • judicial process
  • bias
  • corruption
  • complexity
  • human behavior
  • circumstances
  • justice system
  • intent
  • remorse
  • socio-economic background
  • rehabilitate offenders
  • recidivism rates
  • flexible punishment systems
  • inconsistencies
  • perceived injustices
  • public trust
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