IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that the government should pay for healthcare. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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I completely agree that the government should
pays
Wrong verb form
pay
show examples
 for the
healthcare
Use synonyms
 of its citizens, and I will explain two
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 why
this
Linking Words
 policy is
benefit
Replace the word
beneficial
 for the whole society.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, when medical treatment is free at the point of use, no one
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 to choose between their health and their savings.
For example
Linking Words
, in my
country
Punctuation problem
country,
show examples
 a friend of mine delayed
to see
Wrong verb form
seeing
show examples
 a doctor for many months because he was afraid
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the cost, and by the time he
finally
Linking Words
 went
his
Punctuation problem
, his
show examples
 illness had
became
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
 far more serious and expensive to treat. If the consultation
was
Wrong verb form
had been
show examples
 free, he would have
go
Wrong verb form
gone
show examples
 earlier and recovered quickly, which
prove
Correct subject-verb agreement
proves
show examples
 that free
healthcare
Use synonyms
 actually
save
Correct subject-verb agreement
saves
show examples
 money in the long term.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a population
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 can access doctors easily is a more productive population, because workers who are healthy
takes
Correct subject-verb agreement
take
show examples
 fewer days off and contribute more to the economy through their taxes. Of course, some people
argues
Correct subject-verb agreement
argue
show examples
 that free
healthcare
Use synonyms
 is too expensive for the state to afford.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 objection
ignore
Correct subject-verb agreement
ignores
show examples
 the fact that governments already waste enormous sums on less important projects, and a portion of that budget could be
redirect
Wrong verb form
redirected
show examples
 to hospitals
instead
Linking Words
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 the cost is real, the benefits to fairness, productivity and public health are far greater, so I strongly believe the government should fund
healthcare
Use synonyms
 for everyone.

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task response
For task response, give a little more detail about why the state should pay, not only that it helps people.
task response
For task response, check small word forms like reason and reasons, and benefit and beneficial, because these can make ideas less clear.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear start, middle, and end, but some sentences are too long and this can make the line of thought less easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, link ideas with simple clear words, and make sure each sentence moves in one step to the next point.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, the example is good, but you can add one more short line to show exactly how it supports your main point.
task response
For task response, you answer the question clearly and your position is strong from the first line to the end.
task response
For task response, you use a real life example to support your view, and this makes your idea stronger.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear opening and a clear ending.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, each main part has one main idea, so the reader can follow your argument.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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