some people believe that culture will be ruined if it is used to earn tourism revenue, but others consider that tourism is the only way of protecting culture. Discuss both sides ans give your own opinion

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In
this
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contemporary era, cultural and traditional
values
Use synonyms
plays
Correct subject-verb agreement
play
show examples
a pivotal role in connecting our youth with their historical background and customs.
While
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some say that traditional
values
Use synonyms
are imperative for our future generations, others argue that
tourism
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is the one and the only way to support
nation
Correct article usage
the nation
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economically
as well as
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serving cultural
values
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over the
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apply
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worldwide.
This
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essay will
intent
Verb problem
present
show examples
both views in the upcoming paragraphs with some
revelent
Correct your spelling
relevant
examples and an appropriate conclusion. To commence
with
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with,
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there are multifarious benefits of earning
tourism
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revenue by introducing our ancestral
values
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and
archeological
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archaeological
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importance.
Firstly
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,
although
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every
country
Use synonyms
posses uniques history and rituals, nations are always mostly
attracts
Wrong verb form
attracted
show examples
towards others. Because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
they want to know more about others and want to explore their uniqueness,
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
they are already rich with cultural diversity.
For example
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, in
India
Add a comma
India,
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there are numerous extra ordinary uniqueness in terms of ancient tools, civilization and ancestral literature that
attracts
Correct subject-verb agreement
attract
show examples
foreigners. Unless
,
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apply
show examples
it displays
it's
Correct determiner usage
its
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speciality
several
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, several
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developing
do
Check wording
countries do
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not get
opportunity
Correct article usage
the opportunity
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to support
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
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tourism
Use synonyms
to
country
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's
economic
Replace the word
economy
.
Therefore
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, undoubtedly, cultural uniqueness is considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
imperative for nations growth.
However
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, some folks share
tourism
Use synonyms
's detrimental effects towards its cultural importance. They believe that I will not only invite
western
Capitalize the proper name
Western
show examples
culture
in
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into
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their homeland, but
also
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face foreign influence on their upcoming generation. Whether
this
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happens in continuity, it affects our own moral
values
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and principles
as
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, as
show examples
western
Capitalize the proper name
Western
show examples
customs are completely distinct from our religious
cultural
Correct word choice
and cultural
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backgrounds
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
we have to save our old
superstitious
Replace the word
superstitions
from
this
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globalization
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globalisation
show examples
.
Therefore
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,
tourism
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not only
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
economic development but
also
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invites
western
Capitalize the proper name
Western
show examples
culture
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
our
country
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
it will affect our young generation negatively.
To conclude
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,
i
Fix capitalization
I
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believe that since
western
Capitalize the proper name
Western
show examples
influence has severe effects on our
country
Use synonyms
's diversity
but
Correct word choice
,
show examples
it
also
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supports
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country's
Correct article usage
the country's
show examples
development economics
Correct word order
economic development,
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which will help our nation from all
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
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of crisis
such
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as unemployment and instability.
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Thus
Punctuation problem
Thus,
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it plays a significant role in upgrading our Home
country
Use synonyms
with uncountable amenities and support.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. Give one clear idea for each side and explain it well.
task response
Give your own opinion in a clear way in the body, not only in the end.
task response
Use examples that directly support your main point. Make the example easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph have one main idea. Start with the main point, then explain it.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a natural way, such as 'on the one hand', 'on the other hand', 'for example', and 'as a result'.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas do not connect well. Check each sentence and ask if it clearly follows the one before it.
task response
You answered the topic and wrote about both views.
task response
You gave your opinion in the conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You used some linking words to move from one idea to the next.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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