IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below shows a comparison of different kinds of energy production in France in 1995 and 2005.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
The pie charts compare the different types of energy production in France in 1995 and 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
, coal and
gas
Use synonyms
 remained the two largest sources of energy production in both years,
while
Linking Words
petroleum
Use synonyms
 decreased significantly.
By contrast
Linking Words
, nuclear
power
Use synonyms
 and other
fuels
Use synonyms
 increased. In 1995, coal,
gas
Use synonyms
 and
petroleum
Use synonyms
 each accounted for almost one-third of total energy production in France, at 29.80%, 29.63% and 29.27% respectively. Nuclear
power
Use synonyms
 and other
fuels
Use synonyms
 made up much smaller proportions, at 6.40% and 4.90%. By 2005, coal and
gas
Use synonyms
 had remained almost the same, accounting for 30.93% and 30.31% respectively.
However
Linking Words
, the share of
petroleum
Use synonyms
 fell noticeably to 19.55%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, nuclear
power
Use synonyms
 increased to 10.10%,
while
Linking Words
 other
fuels
Use synonyms
 rose to 9.10%. From 1995 to 2005, coal and
gas
Use synonyms
 showed only slight increases, by just over 1
percentage
Use synonyms
 point and less than 1
percentage
Use synonyms
 point
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
show examples
. Nuclear
power
Use synonyms
 grew by nearly 4
percentage
Use synonyms
 points, and other
fuels
Use synonyms
 increased by just over 4
percentage
Use synonyms
 points. The most significant change was in
petroleum
Use synonyms
, which dropped by almost 10
percentage
Use synonyms
 points over the period.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words gas, petroleum, power, fuels, percentage with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: