IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now 'one big traffic jam'. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars? Korkem

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Over the
last
Linking Words
 three decades, the ownership of the car has increased significantly
resulting
Punctuation problem
, resulting
show examples
 in
suffocated congestions
Replace the word
suffocating congestion
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 in many major cities worldwide.
Linking Words
this
Capitalize the word
This
show examples
 essay investigates the truth beyond
this
Linking Words
 statement
while
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
discusses
Wrong verb form
discussing
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 the measures that goverment can take in order to discourage individuals from using their own vehicles.
They
Correct pronoun usage
There
show examples
 are many factors beyond the nowadays congestions , undoubtedly the increasing number of personal
cars
Use synonyms
 ranks
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the top of
this
Linking Words
 list. The demands of self transit has
growth
Wrong verb form
grown
show examples
 remarkably in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
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 thirty years as the
conveneit
Correct your spelling
convenience
 that
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 brings,
Linking Words
this lead
Wrong verb form
leading
show examples
 to
exceed
Replace the word
an excess
 of car
limit
Check wording
limits
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, which
design
Wrong verb form
are designed
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 to suit given infrastructures.
For instance
Linking Words
, the road width are design for
particular
Correct article usage
a particular
show examples
 number Goverment should plan to address
this
Linking Words
 serious issue by reducing the usage of personal
cars
Use synonyms
 and encouraging
citizen
Check wording
citizens
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 to use public
transports
Check wording
transport
show examples
instead
Linking Words
.
The
Correct article usage
This
show examples
 can be achieved by implementing rules that
strict
Replace the word
restrict
 the use of single
cars
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, charge extra tax for
utilizing
Correct determiner usage
utilising a
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 personal one and free the
share
Replace the word
shared
 one from tax.
As a result
Linking Words
, individuals will tend to take a
sharing
Replace the word
shared
 transit,
minimizing
Change the spelling
minimising
show examples
 the
Use synonyms
cars
Check wording
number of cars
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 on the street.
Consequently
Linking Words
, solve the congestion issue. In conclusion, the increasing
numbers
Check wording
number
show examples
 of personal
cars
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 considered to be the main contributer in traffic jam so goverment should
controls
Wrong verb form
control
show examples
this
Linking Words
 trend and
takes
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
 the required
measurement
Check wording
measures
show examples
 to address the
condum
Correct your spelling
problem
.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. Say more clearly how true the statement is, and give more than one government measure.
task response
Develop each main idea with a full explanation. Some points are started but not finished.
task response
Use clearer and more specific examples. Your tax example is useful, but it needs more detail.
coherence and cohesion
Organize body paragraphs more clearly. One paragraph should explain the problem, and one should explain solutions in a fuller way.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple clear words like 'first', 'also', 'because', and 'therefore'.
coherence and cohesion
Complete sentences fully. A few lines stop too early, so the reader cannot follow the point well.
coherence and cohesion
You have an introduction, body, and conclusion, so the essay has a clear basic shape.
task response
You answer both parts of the question, which is a good start.
task response
The idea of higher tax on private cars is relevant to the topic.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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