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Writing Samples
Band 4

There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes committed each year.While some think the best way is to use the death penalty as a deterrent, ,many believe that other meausres will be needed. Discuss both sides.

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First and foremost, the
death
Use synonyms
cost
Check wording
penalty
show examples
 is ultimately used as a
last
Linking Words
 resort for the criminal who commited terrifying act as a lesson to society.
Although
Linking Words
 it seems pretty rock-solid option, there have been cases where innocent individuals had to deal with false accusations, and the result was devastating.After a
while
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 , more countires begun to force out
death
Use synonyms
punishment
Check wording
penalty
show examples
,
instead
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 applying lifetime
prison
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imprisonment
show examples
 for those horrifying criminals. For a
while
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, it was the perfect encounter , yet it wasn't even able to slow it down.
As a result
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, a family of victims became frustrated about
new
Correct article usage
the new
show examples
 rules. Sometimes, those individuals could get away
just
Change preposition
with just
show examples
 acting harmless
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 a decade ,
thus
Linking Words
 continuing their dark path.The
death
Use synonyms
 amends were
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
 option , yet still with unclear results.Taking away someone's life isn't as bad as almost any bad act can be forgiven by good deeds, either by spending their eternity to clear their sins by healthy things.
Nevertheless
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, execution isn't the right way to judge a person's rest of their life, considering it could be an incident or they could be forced to take the blame
while
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 the rest cant visualize other point of view.
Instead
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, human beings have the opportunity to do honest
and
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work and
show examples
also
Linking Words
 to pay for what they committed to. Either they can serve
for
Change preposition
apply
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the country or even society itself after they get released from jail.There exist paths to talk psychiatrist to explain and understand what has been done, and how to fix it.
Moreover
Linking Words
, those kind of stories exists when a soul wakes up and decides the legal. In conclusion.
Although
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 the
death
Use synonyms
amends
Replace the word
penalty
 is suitable for the terrifying criminals, giving a honest to society the right to judge and execute that individual isnt' good call.Everyone deserves a second chance, every person on earth have legitimate
to
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right to
show examples
 salvation.

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task response
Answer both sides in a more equal way. Write one clear main idea for why some support death penalty, and one clear main idea for other measures.
task response
Add simple and real examples to support your ideas. This will make your points stronger and easier to trust.
task response
Make your opinion very clear from the start and keep it the same through the essay.
coherence cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Link ideas in a simple order: first, next, however, for example, as a result, in conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow. Split long ideas into shorter sentences with one main point each.
task response
You discussed both views, so you answered the main task.
task response
You gave a conclusion with your final opinion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has paragraph breaks, which helps the reader follow your ideas.
coherence cohesion
You used some linking words like 'Nevertheless' and 'As a result'.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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