IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The charts below show household spending patterns in two countries between 1980 and 2008

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The pie chart compares
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
five
differents
Replace the word
different
 patterns which are have been
speding
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 by
household
Check wording
households
show examples
 from New Zealand and
The
Fix capitalization
the
show examples
 UK between 1980 and 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, from the information given
that
Correct word choice
,
show examples
 the largest section
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 the leisure.
Whereas
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the other is
smallest
Correct article usage
the smallest
show examples
.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the
others
Correct determiner usage
other
show examples
 three
sectons
Correct your spelling
sections
 have been
speding aproximately
Correct your spelling
spending approximately
 remaining
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the same level
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, 27 per
cent
Use synonyms
has been speding
Wrong verb form
was spent
show examples
 on leisure in the UK in 1980,
while
Linking Words
 18 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in New Zealand.
However
Linking Words
, the Utility bills and food and drink are
aproximatly
Correct your spelling
approximately
 25 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in both states.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, 9 per
cent
Use synonyms
 on
others
Check wording
others'
show examples
 spending
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 are same level
by
Change preposition
as
show examples
 their populations.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
2008
Change preposition
in 2008
show examples
 The UK
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
increased 7 per
cent
Use synonyms
onleisure
Change preposition
in leisure
show examples
while
Linking Words
 1 per
cent
Use synonyms
 decreased in New
Zealnd
Correct your spelling
Zealand
.
As well as
Linking Words
, the transport
droped
Correct your spelling
dropped
 down 1 per
cent
Use synonyms
,
Despite
Fix capitalization
despite
show examples
 the fact that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 2-4 per
cent
Use synonyms
 has
been rise up
Verb problem
risen
show examples
 for ultility bill and others.
Thus
Linking Words
,
largest
Correct article usage
the largest
show examples
changed
Replace the word
change
 is
food
Change preposition
in food
show examples
 and drink 10 per
cent
Use synonyms
droped down
Replace the word
drop
 in
2008
Punctuation problem
2008,
show examples
while
Linking Words
4
Correct article usage
a 4
show examples
per
cent
Use synonyms
 decline
in
Verb problem
occurred in
show examples
 New Zealand.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "droped" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • spend
  • spending
  • share
  • rise
  • fall
  • increase
  • decrease
  • grow
  • drop
  • change
  • pattern
  • trend
  • year
  • country
  • food
  • housing
  • rent
  • health
  • education
  • leisure
  • money
  • income
  • budget
  • more
  • less
  • than
  • across
  • between
  • overall
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