Some people say that young people should be encouraged to leave home when they become adults, while others claim it is better if they remain with their family. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some

people

Use synonyms

believe that young

people

Use synonyms

should leave

home

Use synonyms

when they become

adults

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

others contend that it is better if they stay with their family.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss both views and argue in favour of the former view.

While

Linking Words

young

people

Use synonyms

become

adults

Use synonyms

, they should leave their

Use synonyms

home

Fix the agreement mistake

homes

show examples

and learn to be more independent and responsible in order to face future difficulties.

For example

Linking Words

, young

people

Use synonyms

usually lack

Change preposition

apply

show examples

knowledge about

house keeping

Correct your spelling

housekeeping

. Without parents' assistance, these young

adults

Use synonyms

have to learn some basic chores,

such

Linking Words

as cooking and doing laundry.

Additionally

Linking Words

, if the parents pass away, these young

adults

Use synonyms

will need to take care of themselves and

families

Correct determiner usage

their families

show examples

Therefore

Linking Words

, they should learn some practical life skills when they

turn

Verb problem

become

show examples

adults

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

, young

people

Use synonyms

remain

Correct pronoun usage

who remain

show examples

with their family can save more money and keep family bonding

tightly

Replace the word

tight

. Recently, the house rent has remained high; thereby, young

adults

Use synonyms

are not able to pay

Change preposition

with

show examples

their salary. By living with their family, they can save more money to buy a house in the future. Apart from that, living with family can

also

Linking Words

maintain mental health.

For instance

Linking Words

, if these young

adults

Use synonyms

are depressed, they can always ask for support from family members.

As a result

Linking Words

, the stress can be released

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

family

Correct article usage

the family

show examples

relationship can become closer. In my opinion, I believe young

people

Use synonyms

should leave their

Use synonyms

home

Fix the agreement mistake

homes

show examples

when they turn into

an adult

Fix the agreement mistake

adults

show examples

. By living alone, they will learn how to maintain their living environment and manage their

expences

Correct your spelling

expenses

While

Linking Words

facing accidents, they are able to

hadle

Correct your spelling

handle

the situation.

However

Linking Words

, they should still keep

contact

Change preposition

in contact

show examples

with their family. If they are in

emergency

Correct article usage

an emergency

show examples

situation, they will have

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

backup support from the family. In conclusion, young

adults

Use synonyms

who leave their

home

Use synonyms

can learn some practical life skills by themselves in order to handle future difficulties,

while

Linking Words

who

Correct pronoun usage

those who

show examples

stay with their family can save money and have

closer

Correct article usage

a closer

show examples

relationship. From my

pespective

Correct your spelling

perspective

, I think that young

adults

Use synonyms

should leave their

home

Use synonyms

to be more independent,

whereas

Linking Words

they should not

lost

Wrong verb form

lose

show examples

contact with their family in case they are in danger.

angelachueh0624

Jul 2, 2026

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task response

For task response: You answer both sides and give your opinion, which is good. But some ideas need more full explanation.

task response

For task response: Use one or two more clear and real examples to make your points stronger.

coherence and cohesion

For coherence and cohesion: Your essay has a clear 4-part structure: intro, 2 body parts, and conclusion. This helps the reader follow your ideas.

coherence and cohesion

For coherence and cohesion: Some sentences are not linked in a smooth way. Try to use simple linking words carefully and check grammar in topic sentences.

coherence and cohesion

For coherence and cohesion: Make sure each main idea is explained step by step. A few points are good, but a little short.

task response

You discuss both views and clearly say your opinion.

task response

Your conclusion matches your opinion and your main ideas.

coherence and cohesion

Each paragraph has one main topic, so the essay is easy to follow.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

352 words

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Some people say that young people should be encouraged to leave home when they become adults, while others claim it is better if they remain with their family. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Historical objects should be brought back to their country of origin. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Stress is now a major problem in many countries around the world. What are some of the factors in modern society that cause this stress, and how can we reduce it?

Some people think that universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

IT IS GENERALLY BELIEVED THAT SOME PEOPLE ARE BORN WITH CERTAIN TALENTS, FOR INSTANCE FOR SPORTS OR MUSIC, AND OTHERS ARE NOT. HOWEVER. IT IS SOMETIMES CLAIMED THAT ANY CHILD CAN BE TAUGHT TO BECOME A GOOD SPORTS PERSON OR MUSICIAN.

Most countries aim to improve their standard of living through economic development, but many important social values can be lost as a result. Do the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?