several languages are in danger of extinct because they are spoken by very small number of people. some people say that governments should spend public money on saving these languages, while others believe that would be a waste of money. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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Numerus
Correct your spelling
Numerous
languages
threat
Wrong verb form
are threatened
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of
endangred
Correct your spelling
extinction
because
minority
Correct article usage
a minority
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of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
has
utilize
Wrong verb form
utilised
show examples
the languages because located in narrow confines in the world.
Hence
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, some citizens argue that authorities should invesment to reviving their mother tongue, whilst
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
others believe that
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
should lead
thier
Correct your spelling
their
focus on population needs
instead
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throwing
Change preposition
of throwing
show examples
the funds away.
This
Linking Words
essay aims to examine both sides of the argument and
then
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provide my own viewpoint.
This
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essay aims to examine both sides of the argument and
then
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provide my own viewpoint. On the one hand, countries who faced their
languges
Correct your spelling
languages
becoming low usage over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time, the result will be
entry
Check wording
apply
show examples
the forgien to their
homwtown
Correct your spelling
identity
,
for example
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Gaeltacht in Ireland
the
Correct word choice
, where
show examples
English become widly used
whilst
Punctuation problem
, whilst
show examples
the
Irash
Correct your spelling
Irish
language has decreased in many area
consequently
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, when young citizen neglacting thier native speaker begins the forgienone of their
Use synonyms
culture
Replace the word
cultural
and
identity
Use synonyms
.
Hence
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goverments should put budget to investing the
countries
Check wording
country's
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culture
Use synonyms
, when authorities investment to design
culture
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facilities that
attractive
Wrong verb form
attract
show examples
tourists to visit.
this
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what
survive
Correct subject-verb agreement
survives
show examples
the language when people
knows
Correct subject-verb agreement
know
show examples
the
city
Punctuation problem
city,
show examples
how
this
Linking Words
area
distinguished
Verb problem
is distinguished
show examples
while
Linking Words
remaining committed to
thier
Correct your spelling
their
identity
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
survive
Correct subject-verb agreement
survives
show examples
their mother tongue language.
On the other hand
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, when
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
lead their focus to the
country
Use synonyms
and
leave
Correct subject-verb agreement
leaves
show examples
citizens
need
Verb problem
apply
show examples
behind ,
this
Linking Words
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
show examples
one of
biggest
Correct article usage
the biggest
show examples
mistake not investing
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
the new generation. I think the solution
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
show examples
when authorities balance the budget between them. If there is no control to develop the facilities and provide
modern
Correct article usage
a modern
show examples
life popluation they will
encouraged
Verb problem
be encouraged
show examples
to to migration.
Linking Words
Consequently
Add a comma
Consequently,
show examples
the civilians become one of the
others
Replace the word
other
Use synonyms
country
Check wording
country's
show examples
identity
Use synonyms
.
This
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we have
been
Wrong verb form
apply
show examples
seen in
United
Correct article usage
the United
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States where immigrants
carries
Correct subject-verb agreement
carry
show examples
other
Use synonyms
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
and forget their authenticity.
To
Change preposition
In
show examples
conclusion ,
Government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
should investment to develop their
country
Use synonyms
.
In nowadays
Change preposition
Nowadays
show examples
expressing
Punctuation problem
, expressing
show examples
national
identity
Use synonyms
became
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
important when countries were colonized and other cultures permeated the land, becoming part of it. I believe
this
Linking Words
is what makes a
country
Use synonyms
attractive for modern life, attracting investors and driving national development.

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task response
Answer both sides more clearly. Give one clear view for saving small languages and one clear view against it.
task response
Give your opinion in a direct way. Say the same view from start to end.
task response
Add more support for each main idea. Explain why and how, not only what.
coherence and cohesion
Use one main idea in each body paragraph. This will make your essay easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, however, for example, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Check repeated lines and unclear sentences. Remove lines you say two times.
task response
You answered the main topic and talked about both sides.
task response
You gave an example about Ireland, which helps your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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