IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The topic of renewable energy is widely discussed these days. What are the main reasons behind the increasing use of renewable energy sources, and is this trend a positive or negative development for the environment?

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Green
energy
Use synonyms
 transition is a trending topic recently and
received
Verb problem
has received
show examples
 many concerns across
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
global studies,
due to
Linking Words
 its role
to delay
Change preposition
in delaying
show examples
 global warming and
replace
Wrong verb form
replacing
show examples
 limited fossil fuels. In my opinion,
this
Linking Words
 development is more beneficial, which will be examined more in
this
Linking Words
 essay.
Firstly
Linking Words
, global warming and
clime
Correct your spelling
climate
 anomaly around the globe
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 reaching
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
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 limit in
20th
Correct article usage
the 20th
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 century. Those are the negative consequences of carbon
emission
Check wording
emissions
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, which result from the burning process of traditional
energy
Use synonyms
. The
green house
Correct your spelling
greenhouse
 gases trap heat on the earth's surface, creating anomaly towards ocean circulation and
climatic
Correct article usage
the climatic
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 cycle, which will cause frequent hydrometeorological disasters across the world and can not be predicted.
Thus
Linking Words
, governments have been working together to promote renewable
energy
Use synonyms
 in order to delay the severe impacts of
climate
Correct article usage
the climate
show examples
 crisis.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, many countries participating in the Paris Agreement, which
the
Verb problem
are among the
show examples
higher
Correct word choice
highest
show examples
 panels in
climate
Correct article usage
the climate
show examples
 crisis,
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 made
commitment
Check wording
commitments
show examples
 to address global warming by implementing
Use synonyms
energy
Correct article usage
an energy
show examples
 transition programme. Another reason for the acceleration of clean power development is the scarcity of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conventional
source
Check wording
sources
show examples
. Promoting renewable
source
Check wording
sources
show examples
 ensures the
sustainabality
Correct your spelling
sustainability
 of power supply and promotes efficiency in terms of
energy
Use synonyms
 used.
For instance
Linking Words
, Indonesia has
been
Wrong verb form
apply
show examples
widely utilised solar
panel
Check wording
panels
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 on its highway lamps, which
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 it efficient because it can absorb and store the sunlight by itself to light the streen in the night.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, In conclusion, renewable
energy
Use synonyms
benefit
Correct subject-verb agreement
benefits
show examples
 the environment in terms of
reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
show examples
 carbon
emission
Check wording
emissions
show examples
 and delay temperature rise,
as well as
Linking Words
 creating sustainability
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
 sources. The
initiation
Replace the word
initial
 use of green
energy
Use synonyms
 can prevent
harmful
Correct article usage
the harmful
show examples
 effects of
climate
Correct article usage
the climate
show examples
 crisis.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You explain the reasons well, but your view on positive or negative development needs more detail.
task response
Add one more clear idea about why this trend is positive for the environment, and explain it with a simple example.
task response
Finish all body paragraphs. One paragraph ends too early, so the essay feels incomplete.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph so the reader can follow your ideas more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, because, so, and finally, but do not use too many long phrases.
coherence and cohesion
Make each main point fully supported. Some ideas are good, but they need one more sentence of explanation.
task response
You answer the topic and give a clear opinion in the introduction and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a basic structure with introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task response
You use a real example about solar power in Indonesia, which helps support your point.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable
  • depletion
  • carbon emissions
  • fossil fuels
  • solar energy
  • wind power
  • hydroelectric power
  • technological advancements
  • economic growth
  • energy security
  • renewable energy sources
  • environmental impact
  • finite resources
  • investment
  • efficient
  • cost-effective
  • adoption
  • political stability
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