IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The best way to provide enough homes in large cities is to build tall apartment blocks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Nowadays, the number of citizens in large countries has significantly increased.
This
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 may lead to the issue
relevant to
Change preposition
of
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 no places for them to rest.
This
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 essay will totally agree with
this
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 issue, and the reasons will be provided. Recently, there are various type of natural disasters, which one of them are earthquake.
This
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 problem may harm tall buildings, especially hotels that are higher than 15 floors. In circumstance, the top of the hotel will be shaking. The strength of it depends on how far and how high you live.
For example
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, my room is on the third floor , and I live very far from the place where earthquakes take place.
On the other hand
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, my friend lives at the same level as me, but her apartment is quite close to the earthquake. In
this
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 situation , my friend will be much more in danger than I.
Moreover
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,
this
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 can
also
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 rely on the structure of each building. The lack of infrastructure could cause the dramatically damage.
However
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, the tall buildings can contain a larger number of people than a house with a fence.
This
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 will be much easier in organising and taking care of the space.
For instance
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, in the condominium we have to clean only in the room that we are working, but living in the
house
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house,
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 we need to look after the garden and the details outside our house.
To conclude
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,
although
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 there are some effects that are not beneficial
due to
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 the natural disasters and the construction. The higher buildings have enough spaces for people to live together.
Additionally
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, it is easy to cope with and to look after them.

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task response
Answer the main question more clearly. Say why you agree, and keep that idea the same in all parts.
task response
Use main ideas that directly fit the topic of homes in big cities. The part about hotels and rest does not fit well.
task response
Add one or two clear examples about city homes, land, cost, or travel time.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body part have one clear main point, then explain it step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a simple way, like first, also, however, and so.
coherence and cohesion
Check that each sentence connects to the one before it. Some parts jump to a new idea too fast.
coherence and cohesion
You have an introduction, body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
You give a personal example, and this helps support your idea.
task response
Your view is clear in the introduction and conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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