The government should reduce the amount of money spent on local environmental problems and instead increase funding for urgent and more threatening issues such as global warming. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is an ongoing debate whether the government should invest money in local environmental issues or redirect funding to provide more money on the greenhouse
effect
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that has a threatening
effect
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on our
planet
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. From my perspective, I agree government should put a lot of investment in global warming rather than the social environment , and it will be analysed in the following essay. On the one hand, global warming has a significant impact on our
planet
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. Given that, the greenhouse
effect
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will cause more extreme weather conditions,
such
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as flooding and drought ,
that
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which
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may become more common.
For instance
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, the increasing world population will increase the demand for natural resources,
such
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as plants and water.
As a result
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, we can expect sea levels to rise and increase temperatures.
On the other hand
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, there is an impact on the environment, let's say destroying wildlife habitats.
This
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will be a major factor for extinction of many species of animals and plants.
In addition
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, cutting down enormous areas of rainforest has a significant
effect
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on the ecosystem. In my opinion, I think governments should protect natural resources and animal life. In conclusion, I believe investing more money in urgent projects , especially for the greenhouse
effect
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, will keep our
planet
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alive.
While
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governments should introduce laws to limit extinction, individuals should
also
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protect the environment and increase natural resources for a healthy
planet
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.

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task response
Answer the full question more clearly. Say how much you agree, and keep this same view in all parts.
task response
Give ideas that match the topic. Focus on local problems and global warming, not only general nature problems.
task response
Add one or two clear examples to support each main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Make your main points easier to follow. One paragraph should have one clear main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully. Some links are not natural, and some sentences do not connect well.
coherence and cohesion
Check repetition and word choice. Repeat key topic words in a clear way and avoid unclear phrases.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
Your opinion is given early in the essay.
task response
You use some cause and effect ideas, like weather change and harm to animals.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • urgent issues
  • global warming
  • local environmental problems
  • funding
  • redirecting funds
  • broader environmental health
  • financial efficiency
  • return on investment
  • cost-effective
  • holistic approach
  • moral and ethical considerations
  • resource allocation
  • long-term consequences
  • short-term impacts
  • competing environmental concerns
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