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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some parents says that giving expensive gift to a child can create bad habits in him/her. Do you agree or disagree? give your opinion and include any relevant examples from your experience?

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Some
parents
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 believe that giving expensive
gifts
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 to
children
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 can create bad habits. I agree with
this
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 opinion because
children
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 may become materialistic and not learn the value of
money
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.
Firstly
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, expensive
gifts
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 can make
children
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 expect to get what they want all the time. If
parents
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 always buy costly toys, phones or other items,
children
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 may think
this
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 is normal.
As a result
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, they may become less thankful and always ask for more expensive things.
This
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 can create bad habits and make them focus too much on
money
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 and possessions.
Secondly
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,
children
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 may not understand how hard it is to earn
money
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. Most
parents
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 work many hours to support their families. If
children
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 receive expensive
gifts
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 easily, they may not appreciate their
parents
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’ efforts. In the future, they may spend
money
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 carelessly because they do not know its real value.
However
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, I do not think that every expensive
gift
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 is harmful. Sometimes
parents
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 give a special
gift
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 on a birthday or after a child has worked very hard. In
this
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 case, the
gift
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 can be a reward and a way to encourage good behaviour. The most important thing is that
parents
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 teach
children
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 why they receive the
gift
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. In conclusion, I agree that giving expensive
gifts
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 too often can create bad habits.
Parents
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 should give
gifts
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 carefully and help
children
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 understand the importance of
money
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 and gratitude.

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task response
Add one real or clear example to make your ideas stronger.
task response
Explain your main points a little more deeply.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words like 'for example' and 'because of this' to connect ideas more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph focus on one main idea only.
task response
You answer the question clearly and give your opinion from the start.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main idea and is easy to follow.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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