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Writing Samples
Band 5

The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities.

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The table details the opening date, total route length and annual passenger numbers of underground rail networks in six major cities.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
three
Use synonyms
 earliest underground systems (
London
Use synonyms
, Paris and Tokyo) have far longer routes and carry many more passengers each year than the
three
Use synonyms
 newer systems opened after 1975.
London
Use synonyms
 is the oldest and longest system,
while
Linking Words
 Tokyo has the highest annual passenger volume across all six cities. Among the
three
Use synonyms
 earliest cities,
London
Use synonyms
 opened its underground in 1863, with the longest route at 394
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
. Tokyo, opening in 1927, has a shorter route of 155
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
, yet it accommodates the largest number of
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
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, at 1927 million annually, which is far higher than that in
London
Use synonyms
(775) and Paris(1191). In comparison, the
three
Use synonyms
 newer systems are all much smaller in scale. Washington DC opened its railway in 1976, with 126
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
 of routes and 144 million passengers. Kyoto and Los Angeles have
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 relatively slight gap in passengers,
while
Linking Words
 the track length of
former
Correct article usage
the former
show examples
 is nearly
three
Use synonyms
 times larger than
the
Correct pronoun usage
that of the
show examples
 latter.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words three, london with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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