Many students graduate from high school and want to continue their studies overseas. Give reasons why they want to do this and give some problems that they might face.

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Society has greatly changed
and
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, and
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that
include
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includes
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education. Many students today wish to
study
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overseas.They finished high school and want to leave their
country
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.
This
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essay will examine reasons why they want to do
this
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and give some problems that they might face. On the one hand,many
people
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want to continue their studies overseas.Why would
people
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want to
study
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overseas
.
Change the punctuation
?
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First,
people
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might want to discover new
culters
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cults
.
For
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example
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,seeing how the
people
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of
this
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country
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live.
Also
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,
Learning
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learning
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about their culture.
Second,
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to get
better
Correct article usage
a better
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education.
For
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example
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,studying in the famous colleges and getting
stronger
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a stronger
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degree. So they can be accepted in multiple companies.
Third,
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people
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study
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overseas to know new things and meet new
people
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. For
instant
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instance
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,having friends from all over the world.
Finally
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, some
people
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want to
study
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overseas to be more indpendent on theirselfs. So they don't need to rely on someone to help them with anything.
On the other hand
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,
people
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will face several problems.
For
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example
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,most of them feel homesick.
Moreover
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,
people
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miss their lives with their family and friends back home.They might consider going back and
cancel
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cancelling
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their
study
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.
Also
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,
People
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might face
finance
Replace the word
financial
shortage. They wouldn't have enough money to pay their rent or food
Because
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because
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of terrible
finance mangement
Correct your spelling
financial management
. Which would lead them to get
laons
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loans
.
Also
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,not knowing the law of the
country
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may get them in trouble.They need to read
laws
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the laws
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or get a lawyer for them.
For
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example
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, they might do
thing
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things
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which might be normal in their home but not allowed in the other
country
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. In conclusion, it is clear to see that there are numerous reasons why
student
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students
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wish to
study
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overseas.
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However
Add a comma
However,
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it is obvious that they will
fave
Use the right word
face
show examples
some problems.

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task response
Answer both parts in a more full way. You give reasons and problems, but some points need more detail.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer main ideas in each body part. One part for reasons and one part for problems is good, but each point needs better support.
task response
Add more clear examples. Some examples are short and not fully explained.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, because, so, however, and for example. Be careful not to repeat the same link too much.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence form and word form, because some errors make the meaning less clear.
task response
You answer both parts of the question.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
You use some examples to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your main plan is easy to follow.
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