IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Your friend has been offered a place on a course at the university where you studied. He/She would like your advice about finding a place to live. Write an email to your friend. In your email * describe where you lived when you were a student at the university * recommend the best way for him/her to look for accomodation * warn him/her of mistakes students make when choosing accommodation

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Dear Myat Noe, I hope you are well. I'm so pleased that you have been offered an Industrial and Operations Management course at Republic Polytechnic Singapore, where I have attended for three years. Personally, I'd like to suggest that you find the right place to accommodate yourself
while
Linking Words
 you are studying there, as I have some prior experience in Singapore.
To begin
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 with, it's better to stay close to campus, located in the Woodlands area, where I used to share a room with a friendly Indonesian roommate, because it will reduce your public transportation fees effectively. At that time, the rental cost was S$500 per month , including Wifi and utility bills, and I had to pay S$300 deposit to the Singaporean landlord.
In addition
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, it's so important that you should find the appropriate one by surfing the trusted property websites
such
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 as www.singaporehousing.com or www.sgfindhouse.com, where you can see the competitive fees in different facilities of apartments, and make up your mind on the correct one after observing them in reality.
However
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, you should be aware that estate agents can confuse you about the make-up information about the rooms. In my point of view, I prefer looking at the data of reviews of residents posted in google map and Facebook media before checking the place with representatives.
Last
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, be careful of some misleading errors because of low price, they can be costly in other facilities like MRT train and bus fares, and even you may meet with bad landlords or safety might not be ascertained. Hope you could find some ideas in my letter. Anyway, so glad for your ambition to study there. With love, Swe Zin Moe

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task response
Answer each part more directly. Say clearly where you lived, how to find a place, and what mistakes to avoid.
task response
Use simpler and more exact words. Some parts are hard to understand, so your ideas are not always clear.
task response
Give one or two clear examples for each main point, not too many mixed ideas in one sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Make your paragraphs easier to follow. Keep one main idea in each paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a simple way, like First, Also, However, and Finally.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and grammar, because some sentences are too long and this makes the meaning less clear.
task response
You answered all three parts of the email task.
task response
You gave specific details like area, rent, deposit, and websites.
coherence and cohesion
The email has a clear opening and ending.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas mostly follow a logical order.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • shared flat
  • student hall
  • rent
  • bills
  • landlord
  • deposit
  • safe area
  • close to campus
  • public transport
  • contract
  • cheap
  • comfortable
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