IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think restoration of old buildings take huge amount of government expenditure. It would be more beneficial to use this money for development of new buildings and roads. To what extent do you agree/disagree with the statement

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Few
people
Use synonyms
 opine that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 officials spend a large
number
Check wording
amount
show examples
 of
money
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 old building restoration. If they
use
Use synonyms
 that
money
Use synonyms
 on constructing new
roads
Use synonyms
 and houses, it will
more
Verb problem
be more
show examples
 helpful for its residents. I
am
Verb problem
apply
show examples
partially agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because it is needed to develop new structures
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
Linking Words
as well as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
old historical buldings has it own needs. There are a lot of new
roads
Use synonyms
 needed for
people
Use synonyms
 to
use
Use synonyms
 in
daily
Correct determiner usage
their daily
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. Which can be used for transportation from
a
Correct article usage
one
show examples
 place to another. And
also
Linking Words
 useful for any local citizen to have access
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 other
location
Fix the agreement mistake
locations
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, there are so many crucial areas where has no land road or path.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
 should build
news
Use the right word
new
show examples
roads
Use synonyms
 for
that type
Fix the agreement mistake
those types
show examples
 of undeveloped areas,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 will help local
people
Use synonyms
 to travel easily. They can
also
Linking Words
use
Use synonyms
 these routes for selling their local product, which can make them financially stable. New routes may
also
Linking Words
 open a gate for visitors,
they
Correct word choice
so they
show examples
 can easily access any rural or undiscovered areas for
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
 will help in
growth
Correct article usage
the growth
show examples
 of
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
 economy.
However
Linking Words
, old buildings has it own history. Some are used for
rulling
Correct your spelling
ruling
 over
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 kingdom, or some
used
Verb problem
are used
show examples
 for protection from
enemis
Correct your spelling
enemies
. And may
used
Verb problem
be used
show examples
 for
juditial
Correct your spelling
judicial
 reasons. Olds building has so much
values
Fix the agreement mistake
value
show examples
 to its government or senior
cetizens
Correct your spelling
citizens
than younger
people
Use synonyms
, who do not know much about it. To keep that memory alive and teach
new
Correct article usage
the new
show examples
genaration
Correct your spelling
generation
 about their history,
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should spend some
money
Use synonyms
 on
restoration
Correct article usage
the restoration
show examples
 of old buildings .
To conclude
Linking Words
, there are so many
roads
Use synonyms
 or other things needs in
people
Use synonyms
 every day lives to
use
Use synonyms
. Officials should focus on that, and build some new houses and
roads
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of just
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
 a huge amount of
money
Use synonyms
 on
restoration
Replace the word
restoring
 old structures. But there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
also
Linking Words
 needs to keep alive old
memory
Check wording
memories
show examples
 and history.

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task response
Answer the question more directly. Say clearly how much you agree or disagree, and keep this same view in all parts.
task response
Explain your main ideas more. Some points are good, but they need deeper support and clearer reasons.
task response
Use examples that are more exact and easy to understand. This will make your ideas stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Put ideas in a clearer order. Some sentences do not connect well with the next one.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully, like 'however', 'for example', and 'therefore'. Do not start too many sentences with 'and'.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph stay on one main idea and add a clear topic sentence.
task response
You answer both sides of the topic, so the reader can understand your main discussion.
task response
You give some support about roads, travel, and local business, which helps your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words like 'however' and 'for instance', which helps the flow.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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