IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer." To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is often argued that higher
education
Use synonyms
 provider should provide
knowledge
Use synonyms
 and
skills
Use synonyms
 to their students which are required in their
workplace
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.
While
Linking Words
 others believe that
universities
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 should provide access to
ideas
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 for
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 own sake, in terms of whether the course is helpful to an employer.
However
Linking Words
, I strongly agree that educational institutions should provide practical
ideas
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 and
skills
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 which are needed for their future
workplace
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,
instead
Linking Words
 of focusing on random courses. First of all,
real life
Correct your spelling
real-life
experience
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 and
knowledge
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 can boost puplis idea about the
workplace
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, higher
education
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 providers should encourage
regarding hands on
Change preposition
hands-on
show examples
experience
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from
Change preposition
throughout
show examples
 their university journey. If
graduates
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 get the opportunity to have work
experience
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
while
Linking Words
 they are studying, it will enhance their practical
knowledge
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, higher
education
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insitutions
Correct your spelling
institutions
 should offer mandatory placement opportunities for the students, where they will be able to explore
real life
Correct your spelling
real-life
skills
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 and
ideas
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 for the
wokplace
Correct your spelling
workplace
.
As a result
Linking Words
 of that
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graduates
Punctuation problem
, graduates
show examples
 would know the culture and
skills
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 in terms of their
workplace
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, most of the
universities
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 in the USA
recently have
Correct word order
have recently
show examples
 kept placement as a mandatory course during the study period.
Thus
Linking Words
, higher
education
Use synonyms
 providers should provide practical
knowledge
Use synonyms
 and
skills
Use synonyms
 to the
graduates
Use synonyms
, which will boost their
ideas
Use synonyms
 about the
workplace
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.
However
Linking Words
, some others believe that
universities
Use synonyms
 should focus on random courses
instead
Linking Words
 of paying attention
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their
skills
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 development courses.
This
Linking Words
 would just assist
graduates
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 to get the pass marks in the university rather than develop
ideas
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 and
skills
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 which will be needed in their
workplace
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.
Although
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 there is no value without
hands on
Correct your spelling
hands-on
experience
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 in the
workplace
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.
For example
Linking Words
,
graduates
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 from political science
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 do not have any
skills
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 or
knowledge
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 about the
workplace
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 because they do not have any practical
course
Fix the agreement mistake
courses
show examples
 during their studies.
Therefore
Linking Words
, after graduating from tertiary
education
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 institutions, they always struggle to
manage
Verb problem
find
show examples
 a job. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 others believe that
universities
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 should focus on usual subjects rather than
skills
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 and
knowledge
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, I strongly believe that tertiary
education
Use synonyms
 providers should pay attention to the subjects which
graduates
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 are
needed
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
in
their
Check wording
demand in the
show examples
workplace
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Answer both sides more clearly. You talk more about job skills, but you need a fuller view of the other side too.
coherence and cohesion
Make your main idea very clear in each body paragraph. Start each paragraph with one clear point.
task response
Support ideas with clearer examples. Your USA example is helpful, but it needs more detail.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a simple and careful way. Some lines do not connect smoothly.
task response
Explain why knowledge for its own sake may still matter, even if you disagree.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating the same idea about workplace skills. Add one new reason in each paragraph.
task response
You give a clear opinion in the introduction and keep it to the end.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You try to use an example to support your point.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow in a general way.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Lifelong learning
  • Holistic development
  • Vocational training
  • Industry-specific competencies
  • Critical thinking
  • Creative problem-solving
  • Academic research
  • Intellectual development
  • Ethics and values
  • Societal contribution
  • Job market demands
  • Practical training
  • Internships
  • Knowledge advancement
  • Global challenges
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