Some people believe that alcohol should be considered as a drug and made illegal. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays,
people
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are more often preferring to drink
alcohol
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. So, it is often argued that
alcohol
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needs to be considered as a
drug
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and made illegal for consumption.
While
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considering
alcohol
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as an illegal substance could
increase
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cause a
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huge downfall for the business, I would argue that
alcohol
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should be classified as a
drug
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because it affects
people
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's physical and mental
health
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, well-being, and often increases social crimes and road accidents. First of all, consuming
alcohol
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is not the best for our
health
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due to
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it's
Use the right word
its
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negative effects. It causes liver cirrhosis and directly affects our
health
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both physically and mentally. When
people
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consume excessive levels of
alcohol
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in
our body
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their bodies
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, it stops working properly.
Moreover
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, individuals can be reacted as a psychosis, which directly impacts their mental
health
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. It reduces their mental
wellbeing
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well-being
.
In addition
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, it creates public
health
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concern
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concerns
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as well. If
people
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consume
alcohol
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on the streets without any restrictions, other individuals can be influenced to drink
alcohol
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as well.
Subsequently
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, it raises a concern for public wellbeing, as not only
adult
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adults
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people
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use the streets but
also
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kids have
the
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apply
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access
for
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to
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it as well.
For instance
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, the UK made
the
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a
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recent legislation that nobody could consume
alcohol
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on the streets and public places, and it has substantially reduced the percentage of consuming
alcohol
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.
Thus
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, it is of paramount importance for us to consider
alcohol
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as a
drug
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due to
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its negative impact on our
health
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.
On the other hand
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, making
alcohol
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as
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apply
show examples
an illegal substance and considering it
as
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apply
show examples
a
drug
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could impact our economy. A Lot of businesses could shut down as they would lose their licenses for retailing
alcohol
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, or they would not be allowed
for selling
Wrong verb form
to sell
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alcohol
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.
Moreover
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, individuals could lose their jobs and experience a financial crisis for a period of time.
In contrast
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, consuming excessive levels of
alcohol
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could increase road accidents, and
people
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could lose their lives.
Furthermore
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, social
securities
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security
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can be affected as
people
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would not be able to hold themselves when they are drunk, and adults can commit crimes
such
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as snatching chains, stealing cars to get the funding for buying
alcohol
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.
Hence
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, we should
re-think
Correct your spelling
rethink
regarding
alcohol
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as a
drug
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and introduce strict laws and rules to mitigate its expansion.

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task response
Make your main view more clear from the start and keep it the same all through the essay.
task response
Answer all parts of the question more directly. Say how far you agree, not just your general view.
task response
Use one clear example and explain how it supports your point.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each paragraph and avoid ideas that do not fully connect to that main point.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a more natural way. Some links are used, but a few feel forced or not fully right.
coherence and cohesion
Write a short final paragraph to clearly sum up your opinion.
task response
Your essay has a clear topic and stays on the subject of alcohol and law.
task response
You give reasons about health, crime, accidents, and business, which shows a good range of ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and two body paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
You use basic linking words like first of all, moreover, on the other hand, and hence.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
What to do next:
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