Some people believe that celebrating personal events is a waste of money. Others feel that these celebrations play an important role in the lives of individuals and in society as a whole. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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While

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some

people

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believe that having a party to celebrate personal events

such

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as weddings or birthdays is throwing

money

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away, there is another view that points out that these personal

celebrations

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are important and carry a significant meaning. On the one hand, celebrating important events implies a lot of

money

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and

time

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investment.

This

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is because it is necessary to think about the decorations, food, music and what kind of party is going to be.

For example

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, if it is a wedding, the couple should think

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about

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the invitation, how many guests are attending, and so on.

This

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time

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, details and

money

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used on some occasions are interpreted as a waste,

instead

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of an event created to enjoy and share with important

people

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around.

On the other hand

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, parties and

celebrations

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are part of sharing and collecting memories.

This

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is because

people

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really like to spend

time

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with family and share significant moments with them. It is about memories and celebrating happiness.

For example

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, every year we get happy birthdays, most of the

time

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these

celebrations

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are part of traditions or a way to be grateful for another year of life. Rather than thinking about how much we are investing,

people

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are thinking about enjoying themselves with relatives. Having considered both perspectives, I believe the big

celebrations

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and parties sometimes are a waste of

money

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This

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is because, in most cases, big events are made to satisfy extra

people

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, rather than celebrating the celebrated.

jenitobon16

Jul 6, 2026

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task response

Answer both sides in a more equal way. Write one clear main idea for each side and explain it more.

task response

Give more direct opinion. Your view is clear at the end, but you can also show it a little earlier.

task response

Use examples that are more specific. This will make your ideas stronger and easier to trust.

coherence and cohesion

Link ideas more clearly. Some sentences feel long or not fully clear, so use simple linking words like 'first', 'for example', 'however', and 'therefore'.

coherence and cohesion

Make each body paragraph follow one plan: main idea, explanation, example, result.

coherence and cohesion

Check word choice and small grammar problems because they can make the meaning less clear.

task response

You answered both views and gave your own opinion.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

The topic stays clear in all paragraphs.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

245 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

lavish parties
essential expenditures
financial stress
lasting memories
social bonds
emotional support
familial and social ties
mental health
community cohesion
cultural heritage
sense of identity
traditional practices
sense of belonging
continuity
unique cultural aspects
personal well-being
routine
life satisfaction
reasonable budget
cost-effective
potluck parties

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