Some people believe that celebrating personal events is a waste of money. Others feel that these celebrations play an important role in the lives of individuals and in society as a whole. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
While
Linking Words
some
people
Use synonyms
believe that having a party to celebrate personal events
such
Linking Words
as weddings or birthdays is throwing
money
Use synonyms
away, there is another view that points out that these personal
celebrations
Use synonyms
are important and carry a significant meaning. On the one hand, celebrating important events implies a lot of
money
Use synonyms
and
time
Use synonyms
investment.
This
Linking Words
is because it is necessary to think about the decorations, food, music and what kind of party is going to be.
For example
Linking Words
, if it is a wedding, the couple should think
in
Change preposition
about
show examples
the invitation, how many guests are attending, and so on.
This
Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
, details and
money
Use synonyms
used on some occasions are interpreted as a waste,
instead
Linking Words
of an event created to enjoy and share with important
people
Use synonyms
around.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, parties and
celebrations
Use synonyms
are part of sharing and collecting memories.
This
Linking Words
is because
people
Use synonyms
really like to spend
time
Use synonyms
with family and share significant moments with them. It is about memories and celebrating happiness.
For example
Linking Words
, every year we get happy birthdays, most of the
time
Use synonyms
these
celebrations
Use synonyms
are part of traditions or a way to be grateful for another year of life. Rather than thinking about how much we are investing,
people
Use synonyms
are thinking about enjoying themselves with relatives. Having considered both perspectives, I believe the big
celebrations
Use synonyms
and parties sometimes are a waste of
money
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
is because, in most cases, big events are made to satisfy extra
people
Use synonyms
, rather than celebrating the celebrated.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer both sides in a more equal way. Write one clear main idea for each side and explain it more.
task response
Give more direct opinion. Your view is clear at the end, but you can also show it a little earlier.
task response
Use examples that are more specific. This will make your ideas stronger and easier to trust.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more clearly. Some sentences feel long or not fully clear, so use simple linking words like 'first', 'for example', 'however', and 'therefore'.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph follow one plan: main idea, explanation, example, result.
coherence and cohesion
Check word choice and small grammar problems because they can make the meaning less clear.
task response
You answered both views and gave your own opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The topic stays clear in all paragraphs.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • lavish parties
  • essential expenditures
  • financial stress
  • lasting memories
  • social bonds
  • emotional support
  • familial and social ties
  • mental health
  • community cohesion
  • cultural heritage
  • sense of identity
  • traditional practices
  • sense of belonging
  • continuity
  • unique cultural aspects
  • personal well-being
  • routine
  • life satisfaction
  • reasonable budget
  • cost-effective
  • potluck parties
What to do next:
Look at other essays: