IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people think that to lead a successful life, a university degree is important. Others believe that this is no longer true nowadays. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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In today's modern world,
the
Correct article usage
a
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 minority of individuals consider
diploma
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a diploma
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play
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to play
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 a crucial role
to be
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in being
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 successful in life
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while
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, while
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 others believe
this
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eveidence
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evidence
 does not prove itself
in
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apply
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these days.In
this
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 essay, I will explain why I believe both are essential. On the one hand, it is widely
belived
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believed
 that having academic qualifications
guarantee
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guarantees
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 a prosperous career and financial stability.
That is
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 to say that
,
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apply
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 people should improve their mental abilities
including
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, including
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 cognitive skills.
For instance
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,to become a doctor academic qualification is needed since patients need to be sure that their doctor is highly skilled.
On the other
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hand
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hand,
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 it is considered
as
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that
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 diplomas do not play any role
in
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apply
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in the most successful and the richest person.
This
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 is because, in some fields
namely
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, namely
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, businessman trader and the ventors does not
required
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require
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 highly-skilled mental concentration.To take an example of
this
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, to start a business and make a fortune
people
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, people
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 need special skills
such
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 as time
mangement
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management
, innovative and critical thinking, and
numeral
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numerical
 literacy
which
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, which
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skills
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apply
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most people already have.
To conclude
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, even though high grades and qualifications are still paramount, individuals may
able
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be able
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 to achieve greatness in their lives.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. Say more about why a degree helps, and why some people do well without it.
task response
Give your opinion more clearly. You say both are essential, but your final view is not fully clear.
task response
Use one clear main idea in each body paragraph, then add one reason and one example.
coherence and cohesion
Make links between ideas smoother. Use simple words like on the one hand, on the other hand, because, for example, and therefore.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order. Some parts are hard to follow, so put ideas in a more natural order.
coherence and cohesion
Support each main point better. The doctor example is good, but the business paragraph needs a clearer and more direct example.
task response
You discuss both views, so you answer the main task.
task response
You give an opinion in the introduction and again in the end.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear basic structure: introduction, two body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use paragraphing, which helps the reader follow your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • benchmark
  • evolving landscape
  • credential
  • vocational training
  • entrepreneurship
  • digital literacy
  • autodidact
  • innovative approaches
  • skill set
  • networking
  • lifelong learning
  • meritocracy
  • practical experience
  • self-taught
  • upskilling
  • resilience
  • adaptive learning
  • critical thinking
  • soft skills
  • technological advancements
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