Recently, abortion increases rapidly and becomes a controversial topic. Some people suppose that abortion should be legal while others are against it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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In
this
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contemporary world, there has been an increasing debate regarding
popularity
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the popularity
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of pregnancy
termination
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. Many believe that
this
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should be considered illegal, whilst others contend that it is
woman's
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a woman's
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choice.
Although
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both of these perspectives have their own merits, I personally support the latter idea as female should have the right to make their own decision. On one hand, in many
countries
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countries,
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gender based abortions have dramatically increased because parents desire to have
baby
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a baby
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of
particular
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a particular
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sex
,
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;
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therefore
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, the
government
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governments
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in various countries have banned
abortion
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.
For instance
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, India
have
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has
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restricted
termination
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of
pergnancy
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pregnancy
in certain regions to protect children's right to live regardless of their biological sex.
Therefore
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, people support the notion that
termination
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should be considered illegal.
On the other hand
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, proponents of the notion that women should have access to
abortion
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argue that it aligns with basic human rights and
ensure
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ensures
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their right to choice.
In other words
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, pregnancy can be a result of unwanted sex or rape, which affects the reproductive health of a mother.
Therefore
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, to avoid those situation should be made accessible and convenient.
For example
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, if a rape victim is suspected to be
pregnant
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pregnant,
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then
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she should have access to
safe
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a safe
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abortion
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.
This
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clearly demonstrates the significance of safe and legal pregnancy
termination
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. I strongly agree that female reproductive health should be safely
practiced
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practised
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and should not be restricted.
To conclude
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, despite the valid concern that to protect the children the
abortion
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should be made illegal, I firmly remain convinced that
female
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women
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should have choices regarding their bodies and practice safe reproductive health.

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task response
Answer both sides in a more even way. The first side is a bit short.
task response
Make your own view very clear in the body, not only in the intro and end.
task response
Add one more clear reason for each side so your ideas feel more full.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a simple and careful way. Some lines jump too fast.
coherence and cohesion
Check pronouns and noun forms, for example use 'a woman' or 'women' clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph follow one clear plan: main idea, explain, example, result.
task response
You discuss both views and give your own opinion.
task response
You use examples like India and rape victims to support ideas.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear intro, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Words like 'On one hand' and 'On the other hand' help guide the reader.
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