IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

With the coming of digital education some people believe that trend of traditional studies may fall down. Disuss both the views and give your opinion?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Get started →
Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 that with the coming of
digital
Correct article usage
the digital
show examples
education
Use synonyms
trend
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
,
show examples
 traditional
studies
Use synonyms
 may
fall
Use synonyms
down
Rephrase
apply
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 feel that, with
depending of
Replace the word
the dependence on
 digital
education
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
trend of
Check wording
trends
show examples
traditional
Punctuation problem
, traditional
show examples
studies
Use synonyms
 may
fall
Use synonyms
down
Change preposition
out of favour
show examples
, I align
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
 opinion that traditional
studies
Use synonyms
never up
Wrong verb form
are not
show examples
 coming
, despite
Change preposition
to an end, despite
show examples
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the coming of digital
education
Use synonyms
. One argument in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the coming of
digital
Correct article usage
the digital
show examples
education
Use synonyms
trend
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 traditional
studies
Use synonyms
may
Verb problem
apply
show examples
fall
Use synonyms
 down is that
using
Verb problem
apply
show examples
digital
education
Use synonyms
more
Verb problem
is more
show examples
convinient
Correct your spelling
convenient
 and
individually
Replace the word
individualised
. Digital
education
Use synonyms
 is
chiper
Correct your spelling
cheaper
.
For example
Linking Words
, the digital
education
Use synonyms
 without a teacher can check
assignments
Correct article usage
the assignments
show examples
 of students, give recomendation and planning future
education
Use synonyms
 of students.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
education
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 digital is more
convinient
Correct your spelling
convenient
 for adult
peoples
Check wording
people
show examples
 who
encourage
Wrong verb form
are encouraged
show examples
 in their
education
Use synonyms
. A
strogher
Correct your spelling
stronger
 argument,
however
Linking Words
, is that traditional
studies
Use synonyms
requred
Correct your spelling
required
 all
peoples
Check wording
people
show examples
 because
all
Correct word order
not all people can
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 can not learn independently. There are
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
all
people
Use synonyms
have not
Correct word order
who do not have
show examples
high encorage for educate themself.
For instance
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 of
ptimary
Correct your spelling
primary
 school
required
Wrong verb form
require
show examples
 a teacher who works with
their
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 day by day and
rising
Wrong verb form
raises
show examples
 their
to
Check wording
knowledge to
show examples
extent
Correct determiner usage
some extent
show examples
knowledges
Check wording
apply
show examples
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 some argue that with the coming of
digital
Correct article usage
the digital
show examples
education
Use synonyms
trend
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
,
show examples
 traditional
studies
Use synonyms
 may
fall
Use synonyms
down
Rephrase
apply
show examples
, the argument supporting traditional
studies
Use synonyms
 can not
fall
Use synonyms
down
Rephrase
apply
show examples
, is more compelling, in my opinion. Traditional
studies
Use synonyms
 can not
fall
Use synonyms
down
Rephrase
apply
show examples
because
there are all
Correct word order
not all people have
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 have not high encorage for educate independently.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer both sides more clearly. Say why digital study may grow, and why school study may still stay strong.
task response
Give your opinion in a simple and clear way in the intro and keep the same idea in all parts.
task response
Add more support for each main idea. One short reason is not enough.
task response
Use one clear example for each side. Make sure the example fits the main point.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each body paragraph. This will make the essay easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple link words well, like First, Also, However, For example, and In conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Make the topic sentence of each paragraph clear. The reader should know the main point at once.
coherence and cohesion
Check that each sentence links to the one before it. Some parts now feel broken or hard to follow.
task response
You answered the main topic and gave your opinion.
task response
You included both views, not just one side.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has an intro, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You used some link words like While, however, for example, and in conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: