IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Some people think adults do not need classroom education because self-study is more effective. To what extent do you agree?

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Many people think that
Use synonyms
classroom
Correct article usage
the classroom
show examples
does
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 not
need
Wrong verb form
needed
show examples
 for education for adults
Linking Words
due to
Correct word choice
because
show examples
 self-learning is more effective. In my opinion, I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement, and I believe that
Use synonyms
classroom
Correct article usage
the classroom
show examples
 provides instant feedback and effective interaction. First of all, I believe that classes can provide feedback and structure, and real interaction. In fact, many learners find it
is difficult to organize
Correct word order
difficult to organise
show examples
 and how to resolve the main weakness in learning.
Moreover
Linking Words
, teachers can
hepls
Correct your spelling
help
 students find motives and help them to fix the main weakness point by guiding them. A study published by New York University in 2023 concluded that students who study in
Use synonyms
classroom
Correct article usage
a classroom
show examples
 are less likely to repeat the same mistakes, and showed a significant increase in GPA after recieved detail report
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
 their teachers.
Therefore
Linking Words
, teachers can help pupils in learning and improvement in specific areas.
In addition
Linking Words
, I believe that in
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the classroom
show examples
classroom
Punctuation problem
classroom,
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 the real ineraction happen be

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task response
Answer all parts of the topic more fully. Say clearly why you disagree and how far you disagree.
task response
Add one more full body part to develop your second main idea. Your essay stops too early.
task response
Explain your ideas more. Some points are good, but they need more detail and clearer support.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clearer paragraph plan: intro, body 1, body 2, conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more smoothly. Some sentences do not connect well to the one before.
coherence and cohesion
Finish the last idea and write a short conclusion to close the essay.
task response
You give a clear opinion in the introduction.
task response
You use one example about a study to support your point.
coherence and cohesion
You use basic link words like First of all, Moreover, Therefore, and In addition.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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