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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below the shows the result of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five different Australlian cities

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The bar chart gives
informations
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information
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 about
people
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's
coffee
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 and tea buying and drinking
habit
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habits
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 in five different towns of
Autralia
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Australia
 ( Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide and Hobart) in the
last
Linking Words
 month .
Overall
Linking Words
, in almost all five
cities
Punctuation problem
cities,
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 the majority of
people
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 go to a café for
coffee
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 or tea excepted
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one
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one,
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 where
people
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 tend slightly to buy
instant
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coffee
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 .
According to
Linking Words
 the data, the
percentage
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 of
people
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 going to a café for
coffee
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 or tea
in
Verb problem
is
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 mostly the highest in Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane and Hobart
with
Punctuation problem
, with
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respectively
Rephrase
apply
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approximately 60%, 63%,55% and 62% . Except in
one
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 city, Adelaide, where
people
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also
Linking Words
 used to go a lot to a café but mostly tend to buy
instant
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coffee
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,
thus
Linking Words
 the
percentage
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 of
coffee
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 bought is just under
the
Correct pronoun usage
that
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one
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 of those who went to a café
with
Punctuation problem
, with
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 50% against almost 49% .
Therefore
Linking Words
, the
percentage
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 of fresh
coffee
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 bought hit
the
Correct article usage
its
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 lowest number in each city . In Sidney and
Melbourne
Punctuation problem
Melbourne,
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 where the
percentage
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 of
instant
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coffee
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 is slightly higher than
the
Correct pronoun usage
that
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one
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 of fresh
coffee
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with
Punctuation problem
, with
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 respectively 1% and 6% of gaps . In
costrast
Correct your spelling
contrast
 to Brisbane,Adelaide and
Hobart
Punctuation problem
Hobart,
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 where the gaps were quite sharp
where
Correct word choice
,
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 the
percentage
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 of
instant
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coffee
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 is almost
the
Correct article usage
apply
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double
of
Change preposition
the
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percentage
Use synonyms
 of fresh
coffee
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.
.
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, coffee, café, one, instant, percentage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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