IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some parents give house chores to their children to develop their characters and self-sufficiency, while some do not. Discuss both views and give your own opinion!

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From ancient times,
house
Use synonyms
chores
Use synonyms
 were done by
children
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 in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 majority of families. Some
parents
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 believe that
house
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work
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 develop the sense of responsibility and
prepare
Correct subject-verb agreement
prepares
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children
Use synonyms
 for adulthood,
while
Linking Words
 others try
to
Verb problem
apply
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not
give
Verb problem
to give
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children
Use synonyms
 too many responsibilities because they do not want to distract them from their schoolwork.
This
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 essay will discuss both views and give my own opinion. On the one hand,
parents
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 always wish happiness for their kids
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 they
realize
Change the spelling
realise
show examples
 that
an
Correct article usage
the
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 ability to accomplish
house
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chores
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 is crucial for survival in
future
Punctuation problem
future,
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 whether living alone or with
spouse
Correct article usage
a spouse
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.
While
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 a child cleans a room, washes dishes, and helps cook, he creates daily habits and
own
Correct determiner usage
his own
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 schedule, which helps to develop time management skills from
early
Correct article usage
an early
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 age.
For example
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, since my
childhood
Add a comma
childhood,
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 all
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house
Correct your spelling
housework
work
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 was on me, and
for finishing
Wrong verb form
to finish
show examples
 earlier, I had
my
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 plan for even the following day in advance. Nowadays, when I am already a student,
this
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 habit
played
Verb problem
has played
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 a significant role in my success.
That is
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 the main
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
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 why
for
Punctuation problem
, for
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 many
years
Punctuation problem
years,
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parents
Use synonyms
 force their
children
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 to do
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house
Correct your spelling
housework
work
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.
On the other hand
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, some
parents
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realize
Change the spelling
realise
show examples
 that
house
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chores
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 will not provide a bright future career for their kids
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it is much more important to focus on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
study than on physical
work
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. In many
families
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families,
show examples
 the high quality eduction and school is
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 goal, so they understand that doing
work
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 takes a lot of energy and effects on performance and mental health of
children
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.
Moreover
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, scientist proofed that most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
successful people are not well in
house
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work
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 by relying on
social
Correct article usage
a social
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 interview taken in 2017 in Brazil. It became the key factor of why
parents
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 insist on focusing on study rather than spending
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
energy on
house
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chores
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.
Overall
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,
this
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 essay discussed the trend of
Use synonyms
house
Correct your spelling
housework
work
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 among
children
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 as an obligation from their
parents
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 equally without any preferences of exact point of view.
However
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,
personally
Add a comma
personally,
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 I believe that there should be
the
Correct article usage
a
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 golden mean. Of
course
Add a comma
course,
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children
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 should
assesst
Correct your spelling
assist
 their
parents
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 in daily
chores
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 without any pressure from them and never forget about the key to
great
Correct article usage
a great
show examples
 future - education.

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task response
Answer both sides in a more equal way. Your view is there, but it is a bit short at the end.
task response
Make your main ideas clearer. Some ideas are good, but some parts are hard to follow.
task response
Use examples that sound more real and clear. One personal example is good, but the other example is weak.
coherence and cohesion
Use simpler and clearer topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more smoothly. Some sentences jump too fast from one idea to another.
coherence and cohesion
Check reference words and grammar because they sometimes make the meaning unclear.
task response
You answered both views and gave your own opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear intro, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
You used a personal example to support one main point.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • house chores
  • develop character
  • self-sufficiency
  • sense of duty
  • responsibility
  • life skills
  • daily tasks
  • tidy up
  • wash dishes
  • do the laundry
  • help with cooking
  • share the work
  • time management
  • hard work
  • adult life
  • focus on study
  • school success
  • too busy
  • age-appropriate tasks
  • balanced approach
  • help the family
  • live alone
  • basic skills
  • good habits
  • independent person
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