The news about violent crimes may frighten people or, on the contrary, encourage them to commit a crime. Therefore, some believe that these types of news should not be reported in newspapers or on TV. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The information provided by
media
Correct article usage
the media
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on serious
crime
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is causing a sense of fear among individuals.
On the other hand
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, it is
also
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believed that it is somehow
,
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apply
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contributing
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people
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to people
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to get
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getting
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involved in
such
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serious
crimes
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.
As a result
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, some
people
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suggests
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suggest
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that
such
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crimes
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should not be documented by
media
Correct article usage
the media
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.
This
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issue has sparked considerable debate
and
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, and
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I partially agree with it.
This
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,
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apply
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essay will present well-supported arguments to justify my stance.
Firstly
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, one of the most compelling reasons is that because of violent
news
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inhabitants
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, inhabitants
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do not feel safe in society.
This
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feeling of continuous terror creates a sense of discontentment in the community.
Secondly
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, displaying
such
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crimes
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on TV can have a negative effect on
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people
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people's
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mental health.
For instance
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, a study was performed at Yale University in which one group of
people
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was asked to see only
crime
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reports.
However
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,
other
Correct determiner usage
another
show examples
group enjoyed all
type
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types
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of documentaries. The study suggests some astonishing results. It was observed that those who see
crime
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reports were in
constant
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a constant
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state of fear.
Moreover
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, some of them
also
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suffered from OCD and anxiety later on in their lives.
On the other hand
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, it is
also
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observed that documenting
crime
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by
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news
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the news
show examples
is inclining
people
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to commit
them
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it
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. One of the
factor
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factors
show examples
,
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apply
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is that
news
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are
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is
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seen by every kind of
people
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and if
criminal minded
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criminal-minded
people
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see
such
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things
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things,
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they may get new ideas and ways.
For example
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, it is observed that
people
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get ideas of committing suicide or
murders
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murder
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from watching criminal thrillers. In my opinion, reporting
crimes
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is causing terror among
people
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.
While
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,
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apply
show examples
it is
also
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contributing
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Change preposition
to people
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people
Check wording
people's
show examples
inclination towards them
But
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
, we cannot ignore the fact that
news
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about
such
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crime
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is helping
people
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by providing awareness and taking necessary precautions. Apart from that, when criminals get
punishments
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punishments,
show examples
it
also
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warns other individuals and
keep
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keeps
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them away from performing
such
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things.
Government
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The government
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should make policies and rules for
crime
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media for the safety of its inhabitants and to
refrain
Verb problem
deter
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others from getting involved in
such
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things.
Thus
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, adopting a balanced approach is necessary for the betterment of society.

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task response
For task response: answer the question more directly. Say more clearly how far you agree, and keep this same view all through the essay.
task response
For task response: develop each main idea more. Some points are good, but they need a little more clear explanation.
task response
For task response: use examples that fit the topic very closely. The example about crime reports is useful, but the part about thrillers is less direct because the question is about news.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: make links between ideas more smooth. Some sentences start well with words like 'Firstly' and 'On the other hand', but some links feel sudden.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: keep sentence order more clear. A few sentences are hard to follow because the idea changes too fast.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: check paragraph focus. Each body paragraph should have one main idea and then support it step by step.
task response
For task response: you answer both sides of the question and give your own view.
task response
For task response: you include a clear example to support your idea about fear and mental health.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: the essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: you use basic linking words such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', 'Moreover', and 'On the other hand'.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
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