Many offenders commit more crimes after serving their first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

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Ex-offenders reoffend after serving their first punishment.
This
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essay will discuss the main reasons behind
this
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issue and suggest several effective measures. Criminals often struggle with living like normal people after they have been released. Most of them cannot find a job.
That is
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because they might start thinking about committing a crime again. Even their relatives don't treat them like others, which might cause them to get in trouble. That's why
do
Verb problem
apply
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some miner crime like fraud by deceiving people
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such
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, such
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as their friends. Even if they manage to find a job, it
probably will
Correct word order
will probably
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be hard work. Working with heavy objects makes them considering about earning a fast and easy way because they have experience.
For example
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, trading drugs and there would always be jobs.
Moreover
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, drug sellers do not require anything like employers.
these
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types of job does not take
to
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too
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much time to
dealing
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deal
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with
it
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apply
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. To prevent them, governments have to form a programme that
focus
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focuses
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on criminals to start their life again.
Overall
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, I think we have to review options to give them more choices rather than they easily to go back even if the result has serious consequences.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully: why people go back to crime, and what actions can stop this.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer main ideas in each body paragraph. One paragraph should focus on reasons, and one should focus on solutions.
task response
Add more support for each point. Explain how no job, hard life, and family problems lead to crime again.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a simple way, like first, also, for example, and as a result.
task response
Give one clear and real example for a solution, such as job training or help from local groups.
coherence and cohesion
Check paragraph order and sentence flow so ideas are easier to follow.
task response
You answer the topic and talk about reasons and ways to help.
coherence and cohesion
There is a clear start and end to the essay.
task response
You try to use an example about drugs and work.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas connect well, such as job problems after prison.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • recidivism
  • rehabilitation programs
  • social stigma
  • ex-convicts
  • reintegration
  • support systems
  • mental health issues
  • addiction problems
  • criminal networks
  • incarceration
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