In some countires, many young people choose to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting universitiy studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages

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There is no denying the fact that taking a
one
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year
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breack befor starting
studies
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.
While
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it is
commonly
Correct article usage
a commonly
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held belief that many
youth
Correct word choice
young
show examples
people
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decide to travel or work for
one
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year
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after they graduate from school and
befor
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before
starting their
universitiy
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university
studies
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. There
is
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are
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some
addvantages
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advantages
and disadvantages for
this
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,
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.
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In
this
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essay i will
shad
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shed
light
in
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on
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both
argument
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arguments
show examples
.
To begin
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with,
one
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major addvantage for
this
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is
it
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that it
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will help student to reduce their
acadamic
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academic
stress. In other
word
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words
show examples
, children will
preform
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perform
better in their
studies
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when they
will
Wrong verb form
apply
show examples
start
and
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, and
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they will get a
considerable
Rephrase
considerably
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high
preformance
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performance
in
thier
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their
school
,
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.
show examples
In addition
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,
people
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with work
experiance
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experience
will gain more
comunication
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communication
skills
which
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, which
show examples
is
also
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an important thing for
thier scoial
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their social
and
accadamic
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academic
life.
For example
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, Students who took a
Use synonyms
one
Correct your spelling
one-year
year
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gap to travel or work will find their
universitiy
Correct your spelling
university
life
more easy
Replace the word
easier
to
handel
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handle
and will not suffer from stress
and
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, and
show examples
they will be able socialies in a better way . Another point to consider, there is
also
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a disadvantage for
this
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,
As
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as
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these young
people
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are going to be late for
one
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year
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rom
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from
their generation
,
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.
show examples
It is
also
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possable
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possible
to say that they will feel like they are way
behaind
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behind
from their frinds which is going to lead
of feeling of
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to
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negative thoughts that will
effect
Use the right word
affect
show examples
their
preformance
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performance
in a bad way .
Moreover
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, some
studnts
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students
will contenue in working without going back to their
studies
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which
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, which
show examples
is really important nowadays.
For instance
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, their
frinds
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friends
may
laghe
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laugh
and make fun of them because they took a long
breach
Use the right word
break
show examples
and they
wont
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won't
be able to graduate with thim which may make the students make
unusisable
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unusable
things and make
a
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apply
show examples
bad
decistons
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decisions
. In conclusion,
depist
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despite
people
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having
differant
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different
views i believe that
,
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apply
show examples
kids can get more
addvantages
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advantages
from taking a long
brack
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break
for
one
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year
Use synonyms
it
Punctuation problem
. It
show examples
will help them to
preform
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perform
well in
their
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the
show examples
next stage of their
accadamic
Correct your spelling
academic
life.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. Say more about why the gap year is good and why it is bad.
task response
Use clear main ideas in each body part, then add one simple example that fits well.
task response
Your opinion is clear in the end, but make it clear earlier too.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in one paragraph. This will make your writing easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple link words well, like first, also, however, and finally.
coherence and cohesion
Check that each sentence connects to the one before it. Some parts now jump too fast.
task response
You answer the topic and talk about both good and bad sides.
task response
You give examples to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The order of ideas is mostly easy to follow.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
What to do next:
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