IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The plans below show a village in the UK in 2000 and now.

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The given plans provide information about changes in a village which is located in the UK between 2000 and the present day.
Overall
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,
it is clear that
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 there are some newly developed features,
adding
Verb problem
including
show examples
 a playground and extra
houses
Use synonyms
. Notably, some areas like the shoe factory, restaurant, pub, and farm are removed. Observing in detail, in 2000, the road took
a
Correct article usage
its
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 place in the middle of the area. On the eastern side of the map, the shops were located. There were some empty buildings ,
such
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 as a shoe factory
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 and a pub. The restaurant
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and hotel were in a location which was located north of the layout. On the western side of the map,
houses
Use synonyms
 were located. There was
also
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 a farmland, which was surrounded by trees. Next to the farmland, there was a farm. Turning to the todays' changes, the number of
houses
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 is increasing. Between the
houses
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, the new road is constructed on the north-west site of the layout. The use of hotels and restaurants
is
Wrong verb form
has
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 stopped.
Instead
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 of the shoe factory and pub, the playground is newly built. The farm and farmland have made room for
houses
Use synonyms
. The use of shops is continued without any changes.

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task response
For task response: say more key changes in a clear way. You mention new homes and a play area, but some points are not fully clear.
task response
For task response: use correct facts and clear places. For example, say exactly what changed and where it is on the map.
task response
For task response: avoid lines that are not exact, like 'the use of hotels and restaurants is stopped'. Say 'the hotel and restaurant were removed' if that is true on the plan.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: your essay has a good basic order with an intro, an overview, and two body parts. Keep this plan.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: link ideas in a smoother way. Use simple words like 'to the east', 'to the west', 'in the north', 'now', and 'while'.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: some lines are hard to follow because of extra words, for example 'took a place' and 'was in a location which was located'. Use shorter sentences.
task response
You give an overview, and this is very important for Task 1.
task response
You notice the main new parts: more houses and a play area.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay follows a clear shape: start, overview, old map, and now map.
coherence and cohesion
You group old features and new features in separate parts, which helps the reader.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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