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Writing Samples
Band 7

Many people feel that subjects like art and music are not important today. They think that they should be removed from the school and replaced by more I.T. courses, which are more important. To what extent do you agree

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Many people believe that
art
Use synonyms
 and
music
Use synonyms
 are no longer important
subjects
Use synonyms
 in schools. They argue that these
subjects
Use synonyms
 should be replaced with more Information
Technology
Use synonyms
 (I.
T
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.) courses because
technology
Use synonyms
 plays a major role in modern life.
While
Linking Words
 I agree that I.
T
Use synonyms
. education is essential for
students
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' future careers, I believe that
art
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 and
music
Use synonyms
 should remain part of the school curriculum.
Therefore
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, I partly agree with
this
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 opinion. On the one hand, I.
T
Use synonyms
. courses should receive greater attention in schools because
technology
Use synonyms
 is now used in almost every field.
Students
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 need computer skills, digital communication, and basic programming knowledge to succeed in higher education and the workplace.
In addition
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, many companies prefer employees who are familiar with modern
technology
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.
Therefore
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, increasing the number of I.
T
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. classes can better prepare
students
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 for future job opportunities and help them compete in a digital economy.
On the other hand
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, removing
art
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 and
music
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 completely would not be a good decision. These
subjects
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 help
students
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 develop creativity, imagination, and self-expression. They
also
Linking Words
 reduce stress and encourage critical thinking, which are important for both academic success and everyday life.
Furthermore
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, many careers,
such
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 as architecture, graphic design, and film production, require both artistic talent and technological skills.
For
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this
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 reason,
students
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 should continue to study
art
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 and
music
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 alongside Information
technology
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. In conclusion, I partly agree that schools should give more importance to I.
T
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. courses because they prepare
students
Use synonyms
 for the modern workplace.
However
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, I do not believe that
art
Use synonyms
 and
music
Use synonyms
 should be removed from the curriculum, as they contribute to creativity, emotional development, and a well-balanced education. A combination of both
subjects
Use synonyms
 is the best approach for
students
Use synonyms
' future.

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task response
Add one real or clear example in each main part to make your ideas stronger.
task response
Explain your main ideas a bit more so the reader can see why you think this.
coherence cohesion
Use a few more linking words between ideas, but keep them natural.
coherence cohesion
Some points are good but a little general. Add one more detail to support them.
task response
You answer the question clearly and give your opinion from the start.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear opening, body, and ending.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are easy to follow and each paragraph has one main focus.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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