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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The internet is a modern invention which has changed society. Some people think that it is a huge help while others believe it creates problems. Give both advantages and disadvantages of the internet.

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Nowadays , an increasing number of inventions has built using modern technology.
Specially
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Specifically
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,
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Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
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 has become
as an
Change preposition
a
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 huge essential part of every
individuals
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individual's
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 life.
Therefore
Linking Words
 has many changes in public communities. Some people
belive
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believe
this
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 modern technology makes
more convenient their day today life stuff
Correct word order
their day-to-day life more convenient
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,
while
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 others argue that it can
harmful
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be harmful
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 and
make
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cause
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 issues .
For instance
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 , using
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internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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 is more
benefical
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beneficial
 for
who
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those
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 studying or working and to obtain many
of
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apply
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unknown informations
within any
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with little
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 effort . And , we can able to communicate with people from
any abroad
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anywhere
 or different locations.
Although
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,
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apply
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if individuals could not
use
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 modern technology without knowing their effects , they would have to face many difficulties using
them
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it
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.
For instance
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 , Youngesters are tend to
use
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Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
spending
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, spending
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 their
value
Replace the word
valuable
 time for play videogames ,and tend to watch negative pornografic contents oftenly . On the one hand, as I mentioned before
using
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, using
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internet
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the internet
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 can have any
of informations
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information
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 on overseas.
Consequently
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 , it can
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use
Wrong verb form
be used
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 for improving our
english knowlege
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English knowledge
 and
can
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be
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 able to obtain our future goals through watching many videos and focusing
them
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on them
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 .
Additionally
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 , we can easily connect with our family members during
in
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the
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 vacation period abroad or anywhere .It can develop our relationship interactions and can reduce
the
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apply
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stress .
On the other hand
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 , they can be harmful to our lives.
youngesters
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Youngsters
 are addicted to
videogames
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video games
 and spending their quality time
instead
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 of studying or focusing thier future goals .
Additionally
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 , the young generation
addicted
Verb problem
is addicted
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 to the pornografic contents and it can makes negative impact on their entire life .
While
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 using
them
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them,
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 they cannot be focus to achieve thier goals . In
conclution
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conclusion
, they have to
use
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 the
internet
Use synonyms
 with better
knowlege
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knowledge
. So it can produce
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
show examples
 good outcome

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task response
Answer both sides in a more equal way. Write one clear good point and one clear bad point with full support.
task response
Make your main ideas clearer. Some ideas are hard to understand because of word choice and grammar.
task response
Use simple and real examples. Your examples about games, study, and family are relevant, but they need more detail.
coherence and cohesion
Group ideas more clearly. One paragraph for good sides, one paragraph for bad sides, and keep one main idea in each.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, however, for example, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating the same point many times, like young people using games. Add new support instead.
task response
You answered the topic and talked about both advantages and disadvantages of the internet.
task response
You gave examples about study, work, family contact, games, and bad content.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
There is a clear change from good points to bad points with phrases like On the one hand and On the other hand.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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