Some say that the government should make a decision about people’s lifestyle. Others argue that individuals should make their own decisions about it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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People
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have different opinions
whether
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on whether
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lifestyle
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choices should be controlled by the
government
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or
individuals
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should
have
Verb problem
make
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their own decisions about it. The
government
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intervention helps to improve public health and safety. I believe personal
freedom
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is equally important, and a balanced approach is more suitable in
this
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case. Those
individuals
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who support
the
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apply
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government
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involvement said that it plays an essential role in protecting public health and maintaining social order. Nowadays, social media platforms
,
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apply
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and awareness campaigns have
their
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a
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significant impact on the lives of
individuals
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. If the official authorities use these sources for the well-being of
the
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apply
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society
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society,
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then
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it would definitely change their behaviour and thinking as well.
For instance
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,
restriction
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restrictions
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on consuming fast food not only
helps
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help
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people
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to protect
from
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themselves from
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diseases but
also
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encourage them to adopt a healthier
lifestyle
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.
Similarly
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,
ban
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a ban
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on smoking in public places,
sugar
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a sugar
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tax, and the amendments in
traffic
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the traffic
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system assist them to lead a healthier and
disciplined
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more disciplined
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lifestyle
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.
On the other hand
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,
individuals
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have the
freedom
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to choose their own
lifestyle
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. If the
government
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restrict every aspect of their
life
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life,
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then
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they would feel
restrict themselves
Replace the word
restricted
,
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apply
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and unable to enjoy their own
freedom
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.
People
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have their own
preference
Fix the agreement mistake
preferences
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relating to clothing, food, and hobbies, and external interference would restrict them
to enjoy
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from enjoying
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their own
freedom
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.
For example
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, many young
people
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choose different professions
such
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as photography, gaming, and fitness training
which
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, which
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allow them to express their own creativity. If
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government
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the government
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imposes
such
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restrictions
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restrictions,
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then
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it would limit innovation and critical thinking, which are essential for
the
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apply
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personal and social development. In my opinion, the
government
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should provide basic guidelines to ensure public safety, but personal
lifestyle
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decisions should remain in the hands of
individuals
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. A balanced approach can protect society
while
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still respecting personal
freedom
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.

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task response
Answer both sides in a more equal way. The first side has more support than the second side.
task response
Give your opinion more clearly in the body, not only in the end.
task response
Add one more clear example for the idea about personal freedom.
task response
Some ideas are good, but a few are too general. Explain how each example supports your main point.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end. Keep this plan.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with more care. A few parts feel repeated, like 'their own freedom'.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because of grammar form. Make each sentence shorter and clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Make topic sentences more direct, so the main idea of each paragraph is easy to see.
task response
You discuss both views and give your own opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are both present and clear.
coherence and cohesion
The essay moves in a logical order from one side to the other side.
task response
You use examples like smoking bans, sugar tax, and job choices to support ideas.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
What to do next:
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