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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The charts summarise the weight measurements of people living in Charlestown in 1955 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The charts give information about the
weight
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 measurements of people living in Charlestown in 1955 and 2015. The data is divided by age groups.
Overall
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, there is a significant change over the period. In 1955, most people weighed an average, but in 2015, obesity became much more common. Looking at 1955, the youngest
group
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 (20-29) had the highest proportion of ideal
weight
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, at about 70%. The overweight and obese categories were very low at 5% and 0%,respectively. For the middle-aged
group
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 (30-49), average
weight
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 was still the biggest, at roughly 70%,
while
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 overweight was about 20%
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 obese was only 5%. The oldest
group
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 (50-69) had the lowest average
weight
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, at approximately 60%, with overweight at 15% and obese at 10%. Turning to 2015, the situation is completely different. In the youngest
group
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, ideal
weight
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 remained stagnant at around 60%. Overweight increased to about 10%, and obesity rose sharply to 5%. For the middle-aged
group
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, ideal
weight
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 dropped dramatically by 40%,
while
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 overweight and obese both accounted for approximately 35% each. The oldest
group
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 showed the worst figures, with ideal
weight
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 at just 30%, overweight at 30%, and obesity reaching 60%. In conclusion, Charlestown residents became much heavier over 60 years. The proportion of obese people increased significantly in all age groups,
while
Linking Words
 the ideal
weight
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 declined.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 86%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words weight, group with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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