IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The top priority of businesses is making money, and they do not need to have social responsibilitties. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The big businesses should focus on making
profit
Correct article usage
a profit
show examples
 rather than doing social
work
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 statement has sparked considerable debate
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 I firmly disagree with it because it is
Correct article usage
the
show examples
responsibility of the multinational companies to make
Use synonyms
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 greener,
raising
Wrong verb form
raise
show examples
 awareness and make
employee
Check wording
employees
show examples
 mentally stable .
Thus
Linking Words
, based on the logical
reasoning
Punctuation problem
reasoning,
show examples
 a clear conclusion can be drawn.
This
Linking Words
 essay will present well-supported arguments to justify my stance. One of the most compelling reasons is that big companies can play
crucial
Correct article usage
a crucial
show examples
 role in making a healthy
environment
Use synonyms
 .They should adopt green policies. They can limit their carbon emissions. Big companies can limit air pollution by using renewable energy sources.
For instance
Linking Words
, a company named
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Tapal
tea
Capitalize the proper name
Tea
show examples
 has converted its manufacturing unit completely to Solar power. Ultimately, it is the social responsibility of big firms to
work
Use synonyms
 for the betterment of
Use synonyms
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
. Another
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 contributing factor
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 is that big businesses can raise awareness regarding many important social issues.They can educate people by running different market
campigns
Correct your spelling
campaigns
.
For instance
Linking Words
, A multinational firm
Uniliver
Correct your spelling
Unilever
 is working in Pakistan to promote
girls
Check wording
girls'
show examples
 education.
According to
Linking Words
 an
estimate
Punctuation problem
estimate,
show examples
 they have given
scholorships
Correct your spelling
scholarships
 to around five
lac
Correct your spelling
lakh
 girls.
Last
Linking Words
 but not
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
least, big brands can train their workers regarding stress management .
This
Linking Words
 contributes a lot
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 bringing job
satisfication
Correct your spelling
satisfaction
. A survey conducted by Yale University suggests that almost 1 in 5 individuals
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 suffering from stress .So by educating people about mental
health
Punctuation problem
health,
show examples
 big firms can
work
Use synonyms
 for the betterment of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
To sum up
Linking Words
 profit,
should
Correct pronoun usage
it should
show examples
 not be the primary goal of the business
Punctuation problem
; rather
show examples
rather
Punctuation problem
rather,
show examples
 it should
work
Use synonyms
 for the betterment of
Use synonyms
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
,raising awareness and bringing mental peace among workers.

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coherence cohesion
Make your main idea very clear in each part. Start each body part with one clear point.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words in a simple and correct way, like first, also, for example, and finally.
coherence cohesion
Add a little more support for each main point. Explain how and why each idea helps society.
task achievement
Answer the question more directly all through the essay. Show clearly how much you disagree.
task achievement
Develop your ideas more fully. Some points are good, but they need deeper explanation.
task achievement
Use examples that are clear and easy to trust. Make sure each example fits the main point well.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
task achievement
You use examples to support your ideas, which helps your answer.
task achievement
Your position is clear from the start: you disagree with the statement.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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