IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

Many people say that globalisation and the growing number of multinational companies have a negative effection the environment. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your position.

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In today's world
people
Punctuation problem
, people
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are believing
Wrong verb form
believe
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 that
western
Capitalize the proper name
Western
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 companies and modernisation are impacting our environment negatively.
Further
Linking Words
, I am going to explain my point on
this
Linking Words
,
Linking Words
however i
Correct word choice
I
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 believe
positive
Correct article usage
the positive
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 side
is outweighing
Wrong verb form
outweighs
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 the negative. To commence with, Multinational companies are bringing western culture
in
Change preposition
to
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 our country
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 is positively increasing the GDP of our
country
Punctuation problem
country,
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 as
this
Linking Words
 serves thousand new jobs, golden opportunities and
better
Correct article usage
a better
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 standard of living
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 is helping our country
becoming
Wrong verb form
become
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 strong and
rasiing
Correct your spelling
raising
 the value of our currency Going ahead, large companies are coming from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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abroad countries with
better
Correct article usage
a better
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 background
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 means they know their limits and they respect the environment
To conclude
Linking Words
, every coin has 2 sides, same is the case here,just
not
Rephrase
don't
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 sit
one
Change preposition
on one
show examples
 side and cry about it. Always look
forthe
Correct your spelling
for the
 other side and
then
Linking Words
 see which outweighs more

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task response
Answer the main question more clearly. Say if you agree, disagree, or partly agree, and keep this same view all through the essay.
task response
Give more clear main ideas in each body part. Each part should have one main point and then explain it well.
task response
Add one or two real examples. This will make your ideas stronger and more believable.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a clear way, like 'First', 'Also', 'For example', and 'In conclusion'.
coherence and cohesion
Make your second body part longer and better explained. Right now it is too short and not fully supported.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and word form. Some lines are hard to follow because the grammar breaks the flow.
coherence and cohesion
You have an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion. This gives your essay a clear basic shape.
task response
Your opinion is present in the essay, and the reader can see your main side.
task response
You try to give reasons about jobs, GDP, and living standard. These ideas are on topic.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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