IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Each individual should be held fully responsible for their own health, so government should not be responsible for covering the medical fees of their people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement.

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There is no denying the fact that human health is the most
purcheaus
Correct your spelling
precious
 thing in the entire world.
While
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 it is commonly held belief that each persone responsible for his own health, there is
also
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 an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that medical care is a basic human right.
To begin
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 with, some
people
Use synonyms
 can not afford the medical care charge nither medicens costs.
In other
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words
Punctuation problem
words,
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 the cost of living
increasingly
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is increasingly
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 rising year after year
and
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, and
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 still there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 individuals suffering under the
poor
Replace the word
poverty
 line speceily in the
undeveolped
Correct your spelling
developing
 countries.
In addition
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,
desseasies
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diseases
 and sickness developing with
world changing
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world-changing events
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which
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, which
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 lead to increasing medical field costs and
expenssis
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expenses
.
For example
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,
whene
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when
 the
pandamic
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pandemic
 hit the world
Use synonyms
people
Punctuation problem
, people
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 from some countries like Qatar, Eygpt and India
,
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apply
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sufferd
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suffered
 and died because they could not afford covid-19 cure at that time.
Anothe
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Another
 point to consider
,
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is
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 that
healty
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healthy
 residence mean health generation
which
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, which
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reflex
Verb problem
reflects
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 on the
economy
Replace the word
economic
 growth. It is possible to say that
this
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aplugation
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application
 from
govenments
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governments
 toward
it is
Correct determiner usage
its
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to cover
madical
Correct your spelling
medical
 fees will buy off
evantully
Correct your spelling
eventually
 when the young healthy
people
Use synonyms
 work
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their countiry and it is growth, it is like a huge
sercle
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circle
. In conclusion, despite
people
Use synonyms
 having different views,
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 believe that providing
madical
Correct your spelling
medical
 care are government
responsiblty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
.

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task response
Answer both sides more clearly, then show why your view is stronger.
task response
Add one clear main idea in each body part and explain it step by step.
task response
Use a more direct example with simple facts to support your point.
coherence and cohesion
Group ideas in clear parts: intro, body 1, body 2, conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Use easy linking words like first, also, for example, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Check that each sentence connects to the one before it.
task response
You give a clear opinion in the intro and the end.
task response
You include an example about the pandemic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • be responsible for
  • medical fees
  • cover the cost
  • personal choice
  • healthy lifestyle
  • bad habits
  • public healthcare
  • basic treatment
  • serious illness
  • family history
  • poor families
  • prevent disease
  • go to the doctor early
  • social benefit
  • economic benefit
  • share the cost
  • health education
  • preventive care
  • access to treatment
  • a balanced approach
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