IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The first table shows changes in
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 of New
York
Use synonyms
city
Capitalize the proper name
City
show examples
 from 1800 to 2000. In 1800, New
York
Use synonyms
's
population
Use synonyms
 was 79.216
then
Linking Words
 in 100 years the
population
Use synonyms
 sharply increased
as
Change preposition
by
show examples
 over 4 times in 1800.
Next
Change preposition
Over the next
show examples
 100 years, it
still
Verb problem
will still
show examples
became
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
 more
as it increased over
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 twice as much as in 1800.
Other
Correct article usage
The other
show examples
 two tables show changes
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 in five different areas in New
York
Use synonyms
. In
1800
Punctuation problem
1800,
show examples
Manhattan
Use synonyms
has 60.515
Wrong verb form
had 60,515
show examples
Linking Words
On
Punctuation problem
. On
show examples
 the other hand other four areas,
Brookly
Correct your spelling
Brooklyn
, Bronx, Queens and Staten Island had only 18.701.
Manhattan
Use synonyms
 has almost three times more than group of other four cities
Rephrase
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
. It had 76% of
Use synonyms
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 in New
York
Use synonyms
. It tells us
Use synonyms
Manhattan
Correct word choice
that Manhattan
show examples
 was the busiest city in New
York
Use synonyms
. In 1900,
Manhattan
Use synonyms
's
populat
Correct your spelling
population
 increased sharply
Linking Words
however
Punctuation problem
; however
show examples
, other
broughs
Correct your spelling
boroughs
 had bigger
change
Check wording
changes
show examples
.
Use synonyms
Population
Correct article usage
The population
show examples
 rate
rise
Wrong verb form
rose
show examples
 dramatically
as
Change preposition
to
show examples
 1587.109. In
2000
Punctuation problem
2000,
show examples
 other
broughs
Correct your spelling
boroughs
 had 6471.089 and 81% of
Use synonyms
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 of New
York
Use synonyms
.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
Manhattan
Use synonyms
's
population
Use synonyms
 has dicreased and it became only 19% of
New
Correct article usage
the New
show examples
York
Use synonyms
population
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Last
Correct article usage
The last
show examples
 200 years
people
Punctuation problem
, people
show examples
 chose to live differant cities in New
York
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "on the other hand".
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 90%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, york, manhattan with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • people
  • city
  • five
  • district
  • grow
  • growth
  • rise
  • increase
  • increase
  • rise
  • fall
  • decline
  • high
  • low
  • big
  • large
  • small
  • more
  • less
  • over time
  • by year
  • in total
  • compare
  • compared with
  • whereas
  • trend
  • pattern
  • overall
  • feature
  • note
  • point
  • difference
  • lead
  • catch up
  • late
  • early
  • century
  • decade
  • period
  • 2000
  • 1800
  • 1900
  • continuous
  • steady
  • rapid
  • fast
  • slow
  • periods
  • numbers
  • data
  • report
  • describe
  • summarise
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