the graph below shows china's population by age group starting in 1960 and including a forecast to 2050

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The two pie charts compare the changes in the contribution of eight different industry
sectors
Use synonyms
to the economy of Turkey in the years 2000 and 2016.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
while
Linking Words
agriculture
Correct article usage
the agriculture
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and government
sectors
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declined, the construction and manufacturing
sectors
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experienced growth.
Additionally
Linking Words
, healthcare and education remained completely stable, becoming the joint-largest
sector
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by 2016. In 2000, agriculture was the
most
Rephrase
apply
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largest
sector
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, accounting for 24% of the economy, but it fell significantly to 14% in 2016.
In contrast
Linking Words
, construction
start
Wrong verb form
started
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at a very low 3% in 2000 and grew more than threefold to 10% by 2016. Manufacturing
also
Linking Words
increased from 8% to 12% over the 16-year period. Trade, utilities, and transportation rose slightly by 14% to 16%. Meanwhile, healthcare and education remained unchanged at 17% in both years, which was the highest contributor to the economy in 2016. The leisure and hospitality
sector
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, which stood at 17% in 2000, dropped to 14% in 2016. The government
sector
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contribution
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
from 12% to 9%.
Finally
Linking Words
, finance, business, and other
sectors
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saw a small rise from 5% to 8%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sectors, sector with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • population
  • age group
  • forecast
  • increase
  • rise
  • grow
  • fall
  • drop
  • decline
  • remain
  • stable
  • peak
  • reach a high point
  • the largest group
  • the smallest group
  • adult
  • children
  • older people
  • people aged 65 and over
  • people aged 15 to 64
  • people aged 0 to 14
  • over time
  • at the start
  • at the end
  • by 2050
  • from 1960 to 2050
  • is expected to
  • is projected to
  • a sharp rise
  • a steady fall
  • gradually
  • significantly
  • compared with
  • in contrast
  • while
  • overall
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