Prevention is better than, cure reaserching and treating desease is too costly so it would be better to invest in prevention measures. To what extent do you agree?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Get started →

In various cultures

aroud

Correct your spelling

around

the world, prevention is a crucial part in the medical

feild

Correct your spelling

field

. It

wouldd

Correct your spelling

would

be more

cost effective

Correct your spelling

cost-effective

to apply

it's

Correct determiner usage

its

show examples

measures, rather than investing in developing medications, treating diseases. I partially agree with

this

Linking Words

opinion

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

I will provide reasons supporting my point of view.

Firstly

Linking Words

, preventive medicine can save a huge budget spent

anually

Correct your spelling

annually

on treating chronic diseases. Unfortunately, in my country, the number of diabetic patients is among the highest

ones

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

in the world. The

health

Use synonyms

authorities revealed

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a plan to increase the awearness of

this

Linking Words

serious

health

Use synonyms

condition among the population. The

health

Use synonyms

camp managed to save

million

Fix the agreement mistake

millions

show examples

of dollars, spent on importing insulin injections and tablets to treat diabetes. Simple steps can have a huge effect

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

this

Linking Words

is the aim of prevention.

However

Linking Words

, it is still necessary to invest inhealth researches and

inovations

Correct your spelling

innovations

which are targeted to cure

illness

Check wording

illnesses

show examples

. The benefit of

such

Linking Words

investment can be

recognized

Change the spelling

recognised

show examples

when an

argent

Correct your spelling

urgent

and fatal condition appears suddenly.

For instance

Linking Words

, considering the

last

Linking Words

global

pandamic

Correct your spelling

pandemic

when the

Covid

Correct your spelling

COVID-19

virus caused the death of

thousand

Check wording

thousands

show examples

of patients around the world. Nobody

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

can neglect the vital role of researchers in developing a vaccine. That step would not be successful

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

if governments have not provided the

sufficent

Correct word choice

sufficient

show examples

budget for

health

Use synonyms

organisations to fight the virus. In conclusion, preventive medicine has the ability to reduce the

a mount

Correct your spelling

amount

of money spent on curing diseases, but it should not replace the effort of creating new medications and treatments for

health

Use synonyms

conditions.

Ali

Jul 16, 2026

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Answer the question more directly in each body part. Show more clearly why you partly agree.

task response

Develop your main ideas a bit more. Add one or two clear lines to explain how prevention works better in daily life.

task response

Keep your examples, because they fit the topic well. But link each example more clearly to your main point.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end. To improve, make each paragraph flow more smoothly from one idea to the next.

coherence and cohesion

Use linking words carefully. Some are good, like firstly, however, and in conclusion. Add a few more simple links like also, because, and so.

coherence and cohesion

Some sentences are a little hard to follow because of word form or grammar problems. Shorter sentences can make your ideas clearer.

task response

You answer both sides of the topic and give your opinion.

task response

Your examples about diabetes and Covid are relevant and helpful.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

You use basic paragraphing and some clear linking words.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

253 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Healthcare expenditure
Preventive measures
Cost-effective
Population health
Psychological well-being
Quality of life
Public health policy
Holistic approach
Pandemic preparedness
Vaccination programs
Chronic diseases
Lifestyle modifications
Health education
Early detection
Treatment modalities
Innovative therapies
Epidemiological studies

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Do you believe that the rise of cryptocurrencies brings more benefits or risks to individuals and the global economy? Support your opinion with relevant examples and arguments!
In today's era, traditional financial services are facing pressure with the emergence of cryptocurrencies. Roughly, the concept of crypto is a currency without banks and without human touch, purely digital. The growing popularity of crypto has challenged the conventional banking system. However, crypto must have risks too. This essay will discuss the benefits and risks of cryptocurrencies.
7
band
in many countries, women are allowed to take maternity leave from their jobs during the first month after the birth of their baby. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
In many countries, the women should have a monthly period to rest after spawning. I think that, while this trend has some minor downsides, the merits are far greater because it benefits the individual as well as the society.
7.5
band
In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
The number of people who are interested in searching the information about the history of the house or building they live in is increasing day to day in some countries. This essay will discuss the reasons for this like appreciating the important events that happened in past where they live and about that, they are capable of finding out needed data in search engines by themselves.
6
band
The tradition of families getting together to eat meals is disappearing. What are the reasons? What are the impacts? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Nowadays, the family gathering together to eat meals has been disappearing. This essay will discuss the reasons for this are, and the effects they can have.
7
band
Some people think that success is the best indicator for intelligence, while others think that intelligence can be measured in other ways. What is your opinion?
It is believed that intelligence is measured by the overall success of the individual, which itself is a vague concept. In my opinion, there are two factors which help to answer the question of how smart a person is, such as the IQ test and the difficulty of problems one can solve.

Prevention is better than, cure reaserching and treating desease is too costly so it would be better to invest in prevention measures. To what extent do you agree?

Do you believe that the rise of cryptocurrencies brings more benefits or risks to individuals and the global economy? Support your opinion with relevant examples and arguments!

in many countries, women are allowed to take maternity leave from their jobs during the first month after the birth of their baby. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The tradition of families getting together to eat meals is disappearing. What are the reasons? What are the impacts? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think that success is the best indicator for intelligence, while others think that intelligence can be measured in other ways. What is your opinion?