IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

International tourism is now more common than ever before. Some feel that this is a positive trend, while others do not. What are your opinions on this?

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In line with the shift in time, a recent phenomenon
on
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in
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 the tourism of citizens indicates some concerns in terms of problems from international
tourists
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.
This
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 essay will elaborate on some probable causes and positive solutions which can improve
this
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 situation. There are some widespread reasons why local
people
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 consider that
tourists
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 who are from other countries would have some negative impacts on their societies.
Firstly
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, the consciousness of
tourists
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 about saving the environment of the country where they visit is seen as the main reason.
For example
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, some foreign
tourists
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 often draw their marks on the wall in historical places like temples or museums
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as
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, as
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 well as litter beautiful landscapes
such
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 as famous beaches.
Secondly
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,
nowadays
Punctuation problem
nowadays,
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 some
tourists
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 take advantage of visiting another country to stay illegally.
For instance
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, there are a large number of
people
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 from developing countries travelling to South Korea nowadays, and their purpose is to reside without being accepted by immigration.
Therefore
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, it would be complicated for the government to deal with illegal immigrants.
Therefore
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, some measures should be implemented to deal with these issues of international tourism. It is necessary for the host countries to be strict with tourism agencies to ensure that they do not let their customers commit any inappropriate behaviour by introducing strict rules.
For example
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, financial penalties and prison sentences should be imposed on
tourists
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 who damage the environment or historical sites. Another remedy is that local
people
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, especially youngsters, can participate in volunteer activities to introduce the beauty of their culture and landscape to
tourists
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so
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, so
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 that visitors have more respect for the country they visit. In conclusion, by implementing these positive solutions to address the common concerns of local
people
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, the situation would become much better.

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task response
Answer the question more directly. Say clearly if you think international tourism is good, bad, or both.
task response
Your essay talks more about problems and fixes, but the topic asks for your opinion on the trend.
task response
Add one clear main idea in each body paragraph and explain it more fully.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are in a clear order, but some links feel repeated. Use simple link words with care.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has one strong focus.
coherence and cohesion
The last paragraph should restate your opinion more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear paragraph plan with an opening, body, and ending.
task response
You use examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are easy to follow most of the time.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable tourism
  • cultural exchange
  • economic impact
  • hospitality sector
  • infrastructure development
  • environmental degradation
  • local economy
  • global understanding
  • seasonal fluctuations
  • tourist influx
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