IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

These days more and more young people are studying in foreign countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of study abroad?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Get started →
Nowadays, many young
people
Use synonyms
 are studying abroad
Punctuation problem
. This
show examples
this
Linking Words
 essay will discuss
about
Change preposition
the
show examples
this
Linking Words
trend
Use synonyms
 advantages and
its
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
drawbacks
.
Change preposition
of this trend.
show examples
 Starting with the positive side of the
trend
Use synonyms
, usually
people
Use synonyms
 can not reach a high outlook level without leaving their country and visiting other cultures.
However
Linking Words
, studying abroad is a good reason for leaving the country for a period or staying there for a whole life.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
trend
Use synonyms
 has many beneficial sides
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as being independent and starting adult life earlier.
For example
Linking Words
, students start preparing a dish by their selves that make them more responsible and strong in life
due to
Linking Words
 fact that they will not expect a prepared meal from their parents.Regarding the second advantage, they became more serious and more mature.
For example
Linking Words
, after not relying on parents financially and mentally, many young
people
Use synonyms
 after their lessons at universities go to part-time jobs and earn some extra money for their uncalculated expenditure. Turning to negative sides, students can be special
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it is not possible for everyone
being
Wrong verb form
to be
show examples
 in one character.Some
people
Use synonyms
 can be not comunicative and studying abroad can be depressing for them because they will have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
difficulties in making an acquintance with group mates.The second reason is that children from a young ages connected to their parents and can not live without them.
For example
Linking Words
, after a period studying abroad, they will not be able to study
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
well without their love and care. In conclusion,
this
Linking Words
trend
Use synonyms
 has both advantages and disadvantages.
However
Linking Words
, studying abroad makes young
people
Use synonyms
 stronger and more serious in their lives.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 can be special and cannot leave without care and love from their close
people
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer both sides more fully. You talk about good and bad points, but some ideas need more detail.
task response
Give clearer main ideas in each paragraph. One main idea, then explain it, then give one example.
task response
Use examples that are more direct and clear. Some examples are helpful, but some are hard to understand.
coherence and cohesion
Make links between ideas clearer. Use simple words like first, also, for example, on the other hand, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and punctuation. Some long sentences make the meaning hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one topic in each paragraph. This will make your essay easier to read.
task response
You answer the question by writing about both advantages and disadvantages.
coherence and cohesion
You have an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You try to use examples to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear basic paragraph plan.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: